* The GILMORE Clan *

50 rules for Daddy's with daughters

2012-01-19T18:46:00.000-08:00

I read this and thought it was beautiful!! I was so blessed to have this kind of Dad and equally blessed that my baby girl has a daddy like this too!

1. Love her mom. Treat her mother with respect, honor, and a big heaping spoonful of public displays of affection. When she grows up, the odds are good she’ll fall in love with and marry someone who treats her much like you treated her mother. Good or bad, that’s just the way it is. I’d prefer good.

2. Always be there. Quality time doesn’t happen without quantity time. Hang out together for no other reason than just to be in each other’s presence. Be genuinely interested in the things that interest her. She needs her dad to be involved in her life at every stage. Don’t just sit idly by while she add years to her… add life to her years.

3. Save the day. She’ll grow up looking for a hero. It might as well be you. She’ll need you to come through for her over and over again throughout her life. Rise to the occasion. Red cape and blue tights optional.

4. Savor every moment you have together. Today she’s crawling around the house in diapers, tomorrow you’re handing her the keys to the car, and before you know it, you’re walking her down the aisle. Some day soon, hanging out with her old man won’t be the bees knees anymore. Life happens pretty fast. You better cherish it while you can.

5. Pray for her. Regularly. Passionately. Continually.

6. Buy her a glove and teach her to throw a baseball. Make her proud to throw like a girl… a girl with a wicked slider.

7. She will fight with her mother. Choose sides wisely.

8. Go ahead. Buy her those pearls.

9. Of course you look silly playing peek-a-boo. You should play anyway.

10. Enjoy the wonder of bath time.

11. There will come a day when she asks for a puppy. Don’t over think it. At least one time in her life, just say, “Yes.”

12. It’s never too early to start teaching her about money. She will still probably suck you dry as a teenager… and on her wedding day.

13. Make pancakes in the shape of her age for breakfast on her birthday. In a pinch, donuts with pink sprinkles and a candle will suffice.

14. Buy her a pair of Chucks as soon as she starts walking. She won’t always want to wear matching shoes with her old man.

Photo Credit :: Danielle Rocke Toews

15. Dance with her. Start when she’s a little girl or even when she’s a baby. Don’t wait ‘til her wedding day.

16. Take her fishing. She will probably squirm more than the worm on your hook. That’s OK.

17. Learn to say no. She may pitch a fit today, but someday you’ll both be glad you stuck to your guns.

18. Tell her she’s beautiful. Say it over and over again. Someday an animated movie or “beauty” magazine will try to convince her otherwise.

19. Teach her to change a flat. A tire without air need not be a major panic inducing event in her life. She’ll still call you crying the first time it happens.

20. Take her camping. Immerse her in the great outdoors. Watch her eyes fill with wonder the first time she sees the beauty of wide open spaces. Leave the iPod at home.

21. Let her hold the wheel. She will always remember when daddy let her drive.

22. She’s as smart as any boy. Make sure she knows that.

23. When she learns to give kisses, she will want to plant them all over your face. Encourage this practice.

24. Knowing how to eat sunflower seeds correctly will not help her get into a good college. Teach her anyway.

25. Letting her ride on your shoulders is pure magic. Do it now while you have a strong back and she’s still tiny.

26. It is in her nature to make music. It’s up to you to introduce her to the joy of socks on a wooden floor.

27. If there’s a splash park near your home, take her there often. She will be drawn to the water like a duck to a puddle.

28. She will eagerly await your return home from work in the evenings. Don’t be late.

29. If her mom enrolls her in swim lessons, make sure you get in the pool too. Don’t be intimidated if there are no other dads there. It’s their loss.

30. Never miss her birthday. In ten years she won’t remember the present you gave her. She will remember if you weren’t there.

31. Teach her to roller skate. Watch her confidence soar.

32. Let her roll around in the grass. It’s good for her soul. It’s not bad for yours either.

33. Take her swimsuit shopping. Don’t be afraid to veto some of her choices, but resist the urge to buy her full-body beach pajamas.

34. Somewhere between the time she turns three and her sixth birthday, the odds are good that she will ask you to marry her. Let her down gently.

35. She’ll probably want to crawl in bed with you after a nightmare. This is a good thing.

36. Few things in life are more comforting to a crying little girl than her father’s hand. Never forget this.

37. Introduce her to the swings at your local park. She’ll squeal for you to push her higher and faster. Her definition of “higher and faster” is probably not the same as yours. Keep that in mind.

38. When she’s a bit older, your definition of higher and faster will be a lot closer to hers. When that day comes, go ahead… give it all you’ve got.

39. Holding her upside down by the legs while she giggles and screams uncontrollably is great for your biceps. WARNING: She has no concept of muscle fatigue.

40. She might ask you to buy her a pony on her birthday. Unless you live on a farm, do not buy her a pony on her birthday. It’s OK to rent one though.

41. Take it easy on the presents for her birthday and Christmas. Instead, give her the gift of experiences you can share together.

42. Let her know she can always come home. No matter what.

43. Remember, just like a butterfly, she too will spread her wings and fly some day. Enjoy her caterpillar years.

44. Write her a handwritten letter every year on her birthday. Give them to her when she goes off to college, becomes a mother herself, or when you think she needs them most.

45. Learn to trust her. Gradually give her more freedom as she gets older. She will rise to the expectations you set for her.

46. When in doubt, trust your heart. She already does.

47. When your teenage daughter is upset, learning when to engage and when to back off will add years to YOUR life. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

48. Ice cream covers over a multitude of sins. Know her favorite flavor.

49. This day is coming soon. There’s nothing you can do to be ready for it. The sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be.

50. Today she’s walking down the driveway to get on the school bus. Tomorrow she’s going off to college. Don’t blink.

Photo Credits can be found at the bottom of Michael’s original post.

**9/15/11**This post has resonated so well with daughters and fathers, mothers and grandfathers, and has received many beautiful and heartfelt comments. As much as it pains me, I have had to disable the comment feature. If you have a comment you would like for the author to see, please contact him via his blog, or email me directly at christineATfromdatestodiapersDOTcom and I’ll be sure to pass it along to Michael.

Those Moments in Life...

2011-11-01T09:56:00.000-07:00

There are those moments throughout our lives that make us sit back and reflect. I have had this experience the last week. Not only did I need to sit back and reflect, but I needed to catch my breath, wipe my brow, and have a good cry!!

As many of you know, my husband is a Police Officer. He made this decision about seven years ago and, while I was supportive of this, I was also apprehensive. During the academy I was stressed for him, hoping he would pass all the tests, successfully complete his field problems, and survive the RTO's! At his graduation I don't think anyone could have been more proud of him.

After the graduation was when reality really sunk in...this is real...this is dangerous. The first day he was on his own out there (without his FTO) was terrifying. I couldn't sleep. I was so worried about him and what could happen. Thankfully he was fine and has been since! I feel blessed that he has been an officer for seven years without any injury.

As the wife of a Police Officer, you think about the dangers they are going to be involved in and the things they will witness but you don't let it consume you. You push it to the back of your mind, although it is always there and you know that something bad could happen. As a wife, I say my prayers for my husband every night. We, as a family, pray that he will be safe and make it home to us in the morning.

This past week has proved that our prayers work but also made the scary part of his job a little front and center for me again. My husband was involved in an "Officer Involved Shooting" and could have very easily lost his life. He was put in a very dangerous situation, not his first one I am sure, but this one turned bad quickly. I don't usually want to know and he usually doesn't tell me about the dangerous situations he is in; I probably don't need to know about them either. However, this one I knew about. As I sat with my husband that night after this incident, I could not be grateful enough that he was sitting beside me unharmed. My heart broke for him and the experience he had to go through. I was terrified at how easily he could have been injured or killed. Finally, I felt unbelievable gratitude to the other two officers that kept my husband safe. I will never be able to repay them for their quick thinking and smart decision that helped keep Toby alive.

Now, as I sit back and reflect upon the events of the past week, I realize how lucky and blessed our family and the other officers families really are. They were being watched over and due to their training and dedication to their jobs, they were able to protect each other from a situation that could have turned out very differently.

As for my husband, I am so grateful to have him. He is a wonderful man who works extremely hard to provide for his family. He is a great father who loves his children tremendously and an amazing husband that is my best friend. He goes out night after night and protects our community. Due to this, he doesn't see his family as much as he would like.

There are many people out there who will never understand the sacrifices these men make on a daily basis to protect. They are out when they are exhausted, they eat alone often in a quiet house, they miss their children's games and school programs, they stay up when they would rather be sleeping just so they can see their families, and they put their lives on the lines every day for some people who will never appreciate them. This is the kind of man I married! He is an unbelievable person and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank my Heavenly Father that he is mine.

To my sweet husband~ I love you more than words could ever express. I am so grateful for all you do for our family every day and I know the sacrifices you make. I am proud of you and all of your many accomplishments. If our boys grow up to be half the man you are I will be so proud! You are my best friend and I am so grateful you are safe! I love you and don't forget...you are my favorite!! xoxo

My Dad

2011-06-19T13:03:00.001-07:00

Most of us can say that our Dad's gave us life...well how many of us can say that their dad gave them their lives back?? I am one of those such people who was blessed with that kind of dad.

For those that know my dad, they love him and respect him. For those that don't are missing out on an amazing person!

My dad entered my life when I was 9 years old. I first laid eyes on him when he picked up my mom at my Grandma's house. He stood at the door (mullet intact) with a beautiful bouquet of flowers for her...this was their first date after responding to adds in the paper. I leaned over to my

Grandma (as we pretended to be making spaghetti) and told her

"He is going to marry my mom!"

Low and behold, I was right. Several years later he and my mother got married. But still, it was not this day that gave my family "its" life back...I don't think I could pin it down to one particular day. It was a progression of many days and time.

It was the times my dad took the time to listen to us after a hard day of school or help us through difficult homework, the way he showed my little brother and I that he loved our mom (which is still obvious to this day), the way he showed us his silly side when playing games, the way he made up ridiculous songs in the morning to wake us up for school, but lastly, it was the way he always made it clear he loved us and supported us. He was never afraid to tell us how he felt, good or bad, and always made sure to let us know he was behind us.

I was not the easiest child in my teenage years and, as many children do,

I put forth many obstacles in the way for my parents

,but even at those times I knew how much my dad loved me.

I see him hurt when we hurt, feel happy when we are happy, and proud when we achieve our goals. I see the unconditional love he has for his grandchildren and the love he has for not only my brother, sister, and myself, but for my mom.

We all know that saying: "The best gift a father can give his children is to love their mother." My dad has lived up to every part of that saying. He is one of the best men I know and I am so grateful to call him my dad. He was a gift to our family and I hope he knows that there wasn't a better gift out there, then and now.

To my dad...while you weren't there the day I was born, there for my first steps, my first day of school, or my first word; you were there when I got my first boyfriend, the first time my heart was

broken, there to reassure me college wasn't that scary, there to walk me down the aisle, and to be there when I brought my first child into this world. You were there cheering me on when I graduated from school, and you are there everyday when I need you. You have been in my life for the most important pieces of it and they wouldn't be complete without you in them. I love you more than you will ever know and I am so glad you read the paper that day and picked my mom!! You changed our lives that day and gave us the life we have today. You are the best dad in the world and I am so glad to call you mine!! I love you, DAD!

What Makes A Dad

God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle's flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it ... "DAD!"

...Author Unknow

Why I love summer

2010-06-25T15:32:00.001-07:00

Summer is amazing! There are so many reasons to love it. These are a few of my favorites.

Days of swimming around in the pool.

A never-ending bowl of fruit salad.

Sticky, drippy watermelon.

Endless Otter-Pops.

Going barefoot all summer long.

The sound of the ice-cream man coming

down the street.

Playing all day in the shade.

Riding bikes until the wee hours of the night.

BBQ'd food every night.

Sprinklers in the green grass.

Lazy afternoon naps.

The smell of the monsoon's coming.

Days of gazing at the sunny, blue sky.

Ice-cream any time of the day.

I love summer and the time I get with my family. The moments I share with my children in the summer are priceless and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. Sometimes I wish summer would never end.

A Priceless Gift

2010-06-24T13:14:00.001-07:00

Everyone knows what they are....most of us have had one or two good ones throughout our lives...some of us have had exceptional ones that we will never forget. I feel like I am one of the lucky few who has and always will have mine forever.

As I was reading through my Facebook wall the other day, it occurred to me how many people have at one time or another been a part of my life. Some of them for only a brief time and others for longer times. Some of them were a part of my life before my family began and some of them arrived after it started. Many of them were childhood friends, while others became friends of mine in my adult life. Whenever the time or the place in my life, they have all at some point been a part of it and I have memories of them.

There is, however, one of these people that stands out to me the most. She has been my best friend through my hardest times, happiest times, and easiest times. She has been my best friend when I felt I had no others and when I thought my world may be coming to an end. She has made me laugh, made me cry, and just been there to listen.

I believe that all of our friends are important and help mold who we become, good or bad. I believe that there are some friends out there that we were destined to know. That we chose them and knew them before we ever entered this world, why else would that bond be so strong that it is nearly unbreakable?

For me, in my life, that friend is Amanda. She has literally been my best friend my entire life. Our mom's were and still are best friends and were pregnant with us at the same time. We have had our hearts broken when my mom, brother, and I made the long move from Washington to Arizona, yet we have still maintained a long distance friendship for more than 17 years. In those 17 years we have visited each other about half a dozen times and when we see each other it feels as though no time has passed.

While she may be just my friend, she is more family to me than she may realize. We may not have the same blood running through our veins (then again who knows, I think we tried that "Blood Brothers" thing a few times). She has always been a part of my life and will continue to be.

Friendships are something that should be cherished. I have had friends in my life that I loved so dearly and then circumstances came along and changed who we were or how we acted and we suddenly had nothing in common anymore. To those friends, it is a loss...but we all grow and move on at some point. Then there are those friends that grow right along with you and you never lose that common ground.

There are probably not two people in this world that are more opposite than Amanda and I.

She is blonde and I am brunette.

She is short and I am tall.

She has brown eyes and I have blue.

She has a sister and I have a brother.

She "doesn't like kids" and I love them!! HAHA

She is great at Geography and I am horrible!

She lives in Seattle and the rain and I live in Arizona and the heat.

She is athletic and I am a mess.

She has an extremely BUSY life and mine is fairly mellow (for the most part).

She drives a car and I drive an SUV.

She lives alone and I live in a zoo!! HAHA.

However many differences we may have, at the end of the day, those don't matter at all because we have so many commonalities and we love each other. Our memories don't go away and our fondness for each other and our families is ingrained in us.

I spoke to her just the other day and we talked about relationships, families, friends, cooking, and surviving every day life. I was there to listen to her and she heard me out. It had been months since we had spoken and she said she called just to "hear my voice." It is amazing that in 27 years we have never lost what we started as toddlers. It has just matured and evolved to something better.

To my dear Amanda, I am so grateful to still call you my friend. I miss you so often but always look forward to that next visit or girls weekend. I can't wait to see you next month and hope you know how much you mean to me and how much I love you!!

Love~ Jess

Friendship is not a big thing~ it is a million little things!

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge
against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how
much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well
again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask;
"because you are my friend".

Summer

2010-06-22T14:38:00.001-07:00

I'm dreaming of warm sandy beaches. I'm dreaming of days by the pool. I'm dreaming of fun in the afternoon sun, and week after week of no school.  I'm thinking of swim suits and sprinklers, imagining lemonade stands. I'm lost in a daydream of squirt guns and ice cream and plenty of time on my hands.  I'm picturing baseball and hot dogs, Envisioning games at the park, and how it stays light until late every night, and seems like it never gets dark.  I long to ride skateboards and scooters. I want to wear t-shirts and shorts. I'd go for a hike, or I'd ride on my bike, or play lots of summertime sports.  My revery turns to a yearning to draw on the driveway with chalk. It's really a bummer to daydream of summer while shoveling snow from the walk.
I am so glad that summer is actually here!!

I could not be happier that summer is finally here.  We are now three weeks in and have accomplished so much!  It started out a little rocky but we have really made the most of it. Right after school ended, Toby's older brother, Terry, was injured in an accident and ended up passing away.  It was a huge tragedy for our family and even worse for Toby's parents.  The first week of summer we had his funeral.  During that time we kept Toby busy with all sorts of projects.  He ripped out the carpet and lanolium and replaced it with wood flooring.  It looks amazing.  On top of that project we decided to redo the kids rooms.  Kiley will be starting Junior High next year and really needs her own room, so we put her in her own room and the boys now share a room and bunk beds.  It turned out really great.  It was a good opportunity to clean out closets, under beds, etc.  Now, Kiley has her own room (which is super cute!) and the boys share.  We also redid our yard.  We tilled up the old yard that our dogs had demolished and added a gravel walkway.  Toby re-seeded and it is now growing so well.  Then in the backyard he filled in gravel, added a fire pit and is putting down railroad ties to seperate the grass from the gravel.  We also cleaned out the shed, which was an interesting task.  Our final project was a new security door and vanity for the bathroom, along with lattice work in the front yard for our honeysuckle to climb up.

Hard to believe it has only been three weeks of summer and we have accomplished all of this.  I think we are now ready to relax and enjoy the rest of our summer.  July is pretty booked with vacations, trips, and other "FUN" things.  Kiley has All-Star games in July as well, so it should be a fun summer.  I am looking forward to it.  Relaxation and enjoyment before the year starts up again and I begin working on my Master's Degree.

I am most excited for our vacation this summer, a West Coast trip to the Redwood Forest and visiting best friends in Washington.  It should be so much for all of us and the kids will get to see a lot of country.

I am so GRATEFUL for being a teacher, especially in the summer!!

Mean Moms

2010-05-19T20:22:00.000-07:00

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean ol Mom told me:

I loved you enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep. I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough . . to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.

To my Mom! I love you more than you will ever know and thanks for being a "Mean" mom. Love~Sis

Spring Break

2010-03-22T16:20:00.000-07:00

Well, Spring Break is finally upon us. Hooray!!!

I slept in this morning, well, if eight o'clock counts as sleeping in. In my world, that is sleeping in. Then I got up, had breakfast with my little boys and started cleaning. I got stuff cleaned that I have been putting off for months and finally, my house seems to be back to normal for the most part. While I don't love cleaning house, when I have enough time off, it isn't so bad, not to mention listening to music the whole time is nice too.

After cleaning the house, I showered and decided to catch up on some shows and do the laundry. After to shows, I took the baby to the post office with me and checked the mail. Of course, nothing interesting, all bills or junk it seems.

After returning from the Post Office I decided to play outside with my boys. It was such a beautiful day, I couldn't resist. I sat and talked to them while they played "Light Sabers" and jumped on the trampoline. It was really relaxing and nice to just sit with them. They are such sweet boys and so easy to be around. I love watching them crack each other up at the most silly things. This is what life is all about!

My hubby is in Phoenix for a conference and Kiley is at her dad's until this evening. I don't always get time to just spend special time with the two boys and "mom." It was so nice. Brady slept in my big bed with me last night, since he said he needed to protect me since dad was gone. He is such a little man!

All in all, for my first official day of Spring Break, it was wonderful. I got a lot of necessary and unnecessary stuff accomplished and I still got to relax, spend time with my kids, and enjoy the beautiful weather.

The rest of the week looks promising as well. Tomorrow Kiley and I have some reading to catch up on and we are probably going to swing out to my mom's for a little while to let the kids feed the baby calf and Wednesday I am taking her to the movies with her friend. Toby will be home on Wednesday so we will get to spend a day together too. Then we are off to Phoenix Thursday morning until Sunday afternoon. It should be fun, we are hitting the Renaissance Festival and a Spring Training game.

Well that is about it for my update on life. I am just very grateful to have a few moments to myself for an update on the blog. So much for keeping an updated online "journal??" Oh well, I guess some is better than none!!

The Cowboy Boots

2010-01-28T13:38:00.000-08:00

Did you hear about the Texas teach er who was help ing one of her kinder garten students put on his cowboy boots?
He asked for help and she could see why..

Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said, 'Teacher, they're on the wrong feet.' She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet..

He then announced, 'These aren't my boots.'

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, 'Why didn't you say so?' like she wanted to. Once again, she struggled to help him
pull the ill-
fitt ing boots off his little feet. No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said, 'They're my brother's boots. My mom made me wear 'em..'

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his little feet again.

Helping him into his coat, she asked, 'Now, where are your mittens?'

He said, 'I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots.'

She will be eligible for parole in three years!

AN UPDATE...

2010-01-24T15:48:00.001-08:00

WOW!!! Life has been so busy, I just haven't had time to keep my blog going...so thankfully the snowdays came and I can catch up a little!

The events go something like this...

Thanksgiving came and went and was one of the best Thanksgiving's ever! The food was great, the company amazing, and the weekend very relaxing. After Thanksgiving it was back to work for another three weeks of chaos. The three weeks leading up to Christmas Break at an Elementary School are insane. The kids (and teachers) are all ready for break, not to mention the hectic schedules of parties, programs, and crafts that take place in between. During those chaotic weeks, our little family made time over a weekend to go get our Christmas tree. This is our third year of cutting our own tree. We usually head up

around our camping spot in Greenspeak but due to the recent snow we had received, getting up their was near impossible. So, we decided to take another route, one we had traveled plenty. While making our excursion across the terrain...I made a comment that the snow looked pretty deep up ahead, to which my darling husband responds, "It will be fine, this is the Gilmore's going on unchartered territory!" That is for sure, we ended up so stuck in the snow it took over and hour and a half to dig the truck out.

One of the back tire had gone into a bar ditch and the more we tried the worse it got. Finally I made the comment that we should just keep going forward rather than try to back up, as dirt was visable about 50 yards away. So we gave it a shot and out we were. Within another 20 minutes we had the perfect tree and we were heading home. It was an experience to jot down and the kids will remember that one for a while. We will call it the year of Dad and his Unchartered Territory!!

The next weekend, Toby and I were blessed with a "get-away" weekend, thanks to my parents. We went to Phoenix for one of my most dear friends weddings and to finish up some Christmas Shopping. It was so much fun! We got down there on a Friday night and just enjoyed the quiet. The comfortable married couple that we are now, we laid on the bed and watched late night shows,

lame to most, but a great thing for us, there were no interruptions or crying babies. It was nice. The next morning we slept in until around ten o'clock (amazing!!). We got up and headed off to finish our Christmas shopping. Hundreds of dollars later, we were done. After that we went to lunch and then got ready for the wedding. It was a beautiful wedding and Heather, of course, looked gorgeous!! After the wedding we headed off and went to dinner together, it isn't very often that we get just "Toby/Jess" time so we took advantage of it. After dinner we walked back to our room and after debating a little about the moral issues of it, we opened the kids "Santa" gift (their Wii) and played it in the hotel room. It was so much fun!! We tried ever sport and played until midnight. It was a great evening and we laughed a lot. I am so grateful to have a husband that is my best friend in the whole world. I enjoy his company so much!!

The next week was Christmas. We spent Christmas Eve with Toby's family and it was so fun.

The kids all got to play together while the adults visited. Most of Toby's siblings were there, 2 of his brothers and 1 sister. It was nice for him to be surrounded by his family. The kids opened their presents and we feasted on soups in bread bowls and chocolate cheesecake. It was a nice evening. After we got home, the kids were able to open one present (which is always pajamas), they looked so adorable. Then Toby and I surprised them with a kitten. About 6 months ago, their cat disappeared and they were heartbroken. Whether Toby wants to admit it or not, so was he.

This kitten was all his idea, he put the word out to the animal control officers he works with and they got a set of kittens, Toby went and picked one out and gave it to the kids as a surprise. They were so excited!! They named him Murphy...the baby however, just calls him "diddy."

The next morning was Christmas morning and it was such a great Christmas. The kids were surprised with their Wii. Brady got a new bike and a homemade blanket from his sister, along with some books, movies, and some Star Wars shirts. Kiley got a digital camera, clothes, books, and a picture frame. Chase got a rocking horse (dog), a homemade blanket from his sister, some t-shirts, and slippers. I was given a really nice jacket, a necklace and ring from

my kids and some books I have been wanting. Then for Toby, we got him an Antrim, Ireland hoodie that he has wanted for a while and Kiley made him a homemade blanket as well. After gifts I made pumpkin spice scones, sausage, and fruit salad and we played the Wii.

The next stop was Mom and Dad's. We opened gifts there and then watched a hilarious movie and took naps. It was so nice. After naps, we decided to have my mom, dad, and brother play the Wii. Mom got a little aggressive and decided to hit if she wasn't doing well...that is my mom for you, I just love her!! Then while Toby was playing tennis, the tennis racket attachment came off and went straight through one of Mom's lamp shades (a nice one at that). He just turned it around and told her it was fixed, thank goodness Mom has a sense of humor because it was far from fixed!! After visiting at Mom's for the day, we all headed over to my Grandma's for Christmas dinner. My Aunt Karen, cousin, Grandma, and her husband were all their. It was a wonderful evening. All in all, Christmas was a huge success and everyone enjoyed themselves. I love the holiday season.

Five days after Christmas is my birthday. I woke up to my sweet husband and my boys making me breakfast in bed (of course, my little Brady decided to climb in with me and eat his). We then ventured out to pick up Kiley from her dad's house for the day and then went to my Mom's for a lunch of delicious Pasoli (my favorite!!). We visited for a couple hours and then headed home. Toby was so excited, the moment he stepped into the house he made me sit down on the couch and they all gave me my birthday present. It was a Mother's ring, it is so beautiful. I cried, of course, because that is what I do. It was so neat to have all of my babies stones on this ring. It was a wonderful surprise and I was so grateful for it. We then had a wonderful steak dinner,

made by my family, and we relaxed. It was a wonderful day. That weekend, Toby took me out to celebrate my birthday with just the two of us. We went to Red Devil for dinner and then went to see "Did you hear about the Morgans?" It was a great evening and a nice date night with my hubby.

Of course, lets not forget about New Years. We have a family tradition in our family, since their are maniacs on the road on New Years Eve night. I always make a nice Surf and Turf dinner with a dessert and fancy drinks. We make a big bed on the floor in the living room and watch movies until about quarter to midnight. Then we switch on the T.V. and watch the countdown and the ball drop, give each other kisses and go to bed. This year, I made Filet Mignons, Snow crab with drawn butter, steamed sugar snap peas, roasted red potatoes with rosemary,

olive oil, and thyme, mini cherry cheesecakes and sparkling cider with a twist!! We then watched both Transformers movies (the kids got them for Christmas and our family is obsessed with them) and then watched the countdown. It was a great evening and such a fun family tradition. I know the kids look forward to it but so do I. It is a neat way to spend New Years and have fun with the kids.

That should be all that I need to catch up on. We are now over half way through January and coming up on our 7th anniversary. The snow is falling like crazy and we have been out of school since Tuesday.

The snowdays have been a blast. We took the kids sledding on Thursday and it was coming down like crazy. You can barely see our fence now, it is almost completely buried. I love this!! I haven't hated being off work and still getting paid for it either.

I feel very blessed to have the job and family that I do. I am grateful for the time I am able to spend with them and for the moments that I get to see my children grow. They are so wonderful and I love each one of them so much and for such different reasons. They are so unique and individually amazing. I can't imagine a world without my little ones. They are the true meaning of life. I am so happy to have a husband that is my best friend and who continues to make me laugh. He is fun to be around

and such a wonderful father to his children. He is a hard worker and provides a great life for us. It is the beginning of the year that you tend to reflect on the wonderful parts of your life. These are mine, in this order:

1) My family

2) My friends

3)My health

4) My job

5) Everything else in my life (except bills, I can do without those!)

Thanks to all of you who are a part of my life and for helping make it great!!

The Menu

2009-11-28T18:02:00.001-08:00

The Thanksgiving menu...it takes time, money, and effort. All that time cooking (which I love) and the work to prepare one giant beautiful meal for the family to enjoy. Ours was wonderful this year. Kiley helped me cook and we created a delicious meal for our family of five. This is what it consisted of:

The Bird (picture not the best, Toby decided to carve before pictures, huh??)

The Stuffing (Wild Mushroom and Brioche with Pernod):

The Pea Salad (Three Peas, Mint, and Leeks):

The Roasted Sweet Potatoes (Sweet Potatoes, Red Potatoes, olive oil, and rosemary):

The Mashed Potatoes and Gravy (need I say more):

Our Famous Cranberry Jell-O Salad with cream cheese, pineapple, and jello (Kiley did this year, so good):

Some Sparkling Cider (kid friendly) with fresh mint leaves in it:

And of course, rolls (not pictured but they were pretty), Blackberry, Apple, and Blueberry Cheesecake pies (which Braedon helped with~rolling the dough).

SO good!! I love Thanksgiving!!

So many reasons to be thankful....

2009-11-28T17:11:00.001-08:00

It is times like Thanksgiving that we tend to sit back and reflect on the things in our lives that we are the most grateful for. While watching my family this year, I was reminded of all the reasons I am grateful and why I love these four people so much.

I am thankful for...

A husband that knows how to joke around and find the humor

in "playing"

For a relationship between my husband and his son

that's bond only continues to grow stronger.

For a daughter to share those times

in the kitchen with.

For a dinner on the table this year, for we are so fortunate to have

one.

For those cheesy smiles

that light up our days.

For three healthy, happy, and beautiful children whom I would trade my own

life for.

For a husband that I am able to share this life with and not only

live it, but truly live it!

For our "family drives" and for the joy it brings to my life.

For crazy hair and the laughter it brings to all of us.

And Finally:

For the life we are given, for our safety, strength, and happiness that we enjoy every day. I know that I am so very lucky and blessed to have the life I do and hope to realize it more each day.

Friends

2009-11-18T18:56:00.000-08:00

So, this past weekend, my friend Kelci and I threw a baby shower for my best friend Rachael. It was so fun.

I spent the week before preparing for her shower by purchasing large amounts of baby stuff and making gigantic baskets for her, cross-stitching a bib, making a picture frame, ordering a cake, ordering food trays, buying balloons, candy bars and preparing a game (I am a huge gamer at home but not with a lot of people I don't know), so it was a "Hands-off" kind of game.

This being Rachael's first baby, I wanted to make it special. She got some really neat gifts and some really great people were there to support her.

The night before her shower, Rachael and her husband, Charlie, came over to the house for a night of visiting. Since they moved down to Buckeye, we try to get with them at least once a month. We are avid card players and pretty competitive at that, however, Charlie and me are a team and Toby and Rach are a team, makes for some pretty interesting game nights.

While they were over we grilled steaks and visited with the kids as well. They are the best friends in the world and always include our kids. We decided before playing cards we would bust out with a game or two of "Disney's Scene it" (the best game ever). It was supposed to be the girls versus guys, but Kiley played with the guys and Rach and I lost our most valuable asset. So, of course, both games we lost. Big DRAG!!

After the kids went to bed we stayed up for a couple more hours and played cards. It was a lot of fun and we really enjoyed the company. It is always fun with these two.

Anyway, it was a great weekend with my friends and I was sorry to see them leave. We already have plans to get down there for a weekend.

I think Rach enjoyed her shower and got a lot of things that she needed. She is pretty excited for her little man to get here (along with all the rest of us). I am so grateful to have friends like this...it is a lucky person to have friends this amazing!

Let the punishment fit the crime...

2009-11-09T06:54:00.001-08:00

My children...I guess someday they will figure out that rules must be followed, when is another story.

No doubt, through the trials of getting my children to follow house rules I have recalled several instances when I did these same things to my own parents. Looking back on them, I feel really bad that I was such a messy kid for so long...sorry mom (especially about the apple cores!)

Anyway, in teaching my children how to be responsible and "tidy" individuals, we have definitely hit some road blocks! How do we make them keep a clean room? How do we make them remember to feed and water their dogs? How do we keep them out of the dishwasher? How do we make them remember their backpacks before school? How do we keep the baby out of the wood for the wood stove?

And more, more, and more!

Last Sunday, while having Sunday dinner, our dog, Timber, kept jumping up on the window and looking in at us. We just thought she was being strange, as she is known to do different things. However, she kept it up, so finally Toby decided to let them in, thinking they just wanted to be in the house. After they came in, she kept looking down the hall and pacing the kitchen, it was pitiful really. Toby decided to get them a bowl of water and the two dogs nearly drank a gallon a piece, obviously they didn't have water outside. Toby went and checked it out and of course, their bucket was bone dry. Those kids..."forgot" to water their dogs AGAIN!!

Toby and I discussed grounding them, taking belongings away, etc. Those things only work so well and sometimes don't effect them at all. So, we decided to try something else. We decided that waking them up out of a sound sleep at 10:30 at night and making them go out and water their dogs would fit the crime. We went in, flipped on the lights, and woke them from their slumber. My two, half asleep children, went outside (very cold I might add) in their pajamas and coats and went to water the dogs. What a disaster that turned out to be??

They ended up going out three different times because they didn't get it right. They ended up spraying themselves down, and of course, heard a "cougar." While there were a few times I felt like caving, we stood our ground and the dogs got water. The kids then got a firm talking to and were sent to bed, an hour after being awakened.

I hope that this was a good learning experience for them. Maybe they won't do it again, or maybe they will, but they will know what punishment will be coming.

The next day, after three days of asking them to clean their room, we pulled another "chore" trick out of our hats. Instead of cleaning the room, they decided to shove everything under their beds, in their drawers, in the closet, and everywhere else they could find. We decided to pull it all out of its secret hiding spots and put it in the middle of the room. They got to clean it up after school. They were so bummed to say the least, but it ended up being amazingly clean when they were done! Amazing, they do know how to do it right?!

Sometimes, I feel like as a parent, we have new tricks to pull out monthly, some work some don't but in the end, we write our own parenting books (for each child). No one could write it for us, but it does make for wonderful stories (and nightmares for the kids) for later in life when they are grown and we reminisce about all the tragedies they endured...haha. I know I have done this with my own parents.

While parenting can be hard and very tricky at times, it is the best job in the world and I would start it all over again if I knew it would be this great with these three amazing kids and the support of the wonderful man I call my husband.

Rewarding Careers

2009-11-02T19:33:00.001-08:00

This is my third year teaching first grade and I cannot think of a better job to be in. I get to work with little ones all day who think you are amazing, I hear some of the most profound statements ever, and be their shoulder to cry on when they need one.

This year has been an especially challenging one. It seems that some of these little ones have a lot of "baggage" to carry around. Not all of them of course, but a select few. It is sad to say that a 6 year old has "baggage," but unfortunately life hasn't handed them the best cards. This life in turn, creates aggression at times, anger, and difficulty forming bonds and close relationships with other students and teachers. I have several of these little guys in my room, it makes for a challenging day (usually everyday) and a lot of work, but I don't lose sight of the reasons I am there.

There is one students in particular who has a rough go of things. The first day of school was when I found out this student was mine. Her mom brought her in and gave me a long explanation on how difficult she is and what a pain she could be. I had also seen her "in action" last year. She was a definite challenge and I wasn't sure I was up for it! So, I treaded carefully the first week and let her know what a hard worker she was and how kind she was. This seemed to have paid off because we have a pretty good rapport to date.

This little girl touches my heart daily. I get utterly frustrated at times and feel like I am completely out of my league and not sure what to do next but if I just remember what she is looking for, I can usually neutralize the situation before it escalates.

The other day during our reading time, I pulled her aside to work with her on some individual academic needs that she needs assistance with. This was a particularly difficult day and she was giving me some serious attitude. So I made sure to compliment her on her hard work and work her through the more difficult areas. By the time our fifteen minutes of one-on-one work (while the rest of my class was working on a more difficult, independent task) she had settled down. I began to realize that she requires some individual attention to help her through her emotional turmoil.

Later that day, as we were doing some writing, I told the class that this was a "free day" (meaning, they could write about any topic they wanted to but they just had to stay on that topic). Most of them picked their favorite toy, game, friend, or a family trip. This students chose to write about something completely different...ME. To understand how special this is, you must first know that writing is very difficult for her and getting her concepts on paper takes a lot of work. She uses every resource available to her in my classroom (posters, pictures, name tags, etc.) She managed to write "I love Mrs. Gilmore and she loves me." It was so moving for me, especially considering she shuts others out very quickly and has a difficult time forming good relationships. It was an honor!

Since this day, I have spoken with her mother at times and her mom has voiced the change in her daughter not only at school but also at home. She sees behaviors decreasing and more respect from her at home. I have heard other teachers mention that she is so much more calm this year. Now, whether that is just her growing up or a new class environment, I don't know but I do know that I love her dearly and am so grateful to have her, attitude and all.

Near the beginning of the year, she took her water bottle out to recess and squirted another student with it, all over him!! The teacher on duty took it away (which caused for a huge scene) and explained the situation to me later. That day I spoke with her and told her she had one more chance to use her water bottle properly and then if she made the wrong choice she would lose the privilege to have it at recess. The next day the teacher saw her with it and started to talk to her about it. My student turned to this teacher and said, "Lady, my teacher believes in second chances."

This teacher got such a kick out of this comment that she shared it with me (and many others). She still laughs about it and has told me several times that it should be engraved on my headstone.

It does feel good, to know that a child that is difficult to reach, is reachable.

I went into this profession to make a difference and because I love working with kids. They are the most amazing people in the world and they love you endlessly. So many make the mistake of thinking that they are too little to understand the world and too young to deserve your respect. This is completely innaccurate. Some of them need it more than we will ever know or understand ourselves.

I will never forget her and will be devastated to see her go when the year is over. She is a sweet girl and a hard worker, sometimes clouded by the walls she has built around herself, but when she lowers her wall, even if just for a small period of time, she is amazing!! I hope she knows how much she means to me and how blessed I feel to have her.

To my sweet little student~ I love you too!

A Wonderful Halloween

2009-11-02T19:32:00.000-08:00

This Halloween was so fun!! It started a day early, but what the heck...why not drag some of the more fun moments of our life out. I mean, doesn't it always seem like the hard stuff lasts forever, I for one, think we should grasp the good stuff and hold on to it a little longer.

On Monday the 26th we had our pumpkin carving extravaganza! It was so much fun. The kids grew their own pumpkins this year and got to watch them start from the seed and grow to the big pumpkins, they were so proud. This whole growing experience was all thanks to amazing neighbors and lots of hard work on their part. The kids just got to watch them grow daily, but it was still fun for them.

The night of carving,

we laid out the newspaper and got to work. Toby helped Brady make his "Anakin Skywalker" pumpkin, Kiley did the cutest one ever by herself, and I helped the baby make the "original" jack-o-lantern...that is just my speed.

The whole time Chase was putting all the utensils on my face, up my nose, down my shirt and everywhere else. It was quite the experience to carve pumpkins with a one year old. After they were all carved, Toby and Braedon

decided to get a little carried away with the pumpkin "guts."

It was pretty funny and extremely messy. After carving we shared a dessert of pumpkin rolls, it was so good. I forget that I don't have to make them just this time of year. Note to self...make pumpkin rolls more often.

On the 30th, the kids (and myself) got to dress up for Halloween at school. Kiley was a hippie and quite possibly the cutest one I have ever seen. Braedon, of course, was Anakin Skywalker, and was adorable. He and his best friend were the same thing,

they were an adorable little pair walking around. Chase was a dragon, so cute but it made him so grouchy. I am pretty sure if he could have blown fire, he would have, all over the hat. I was a baseball player, very cost efficient, since I own everything that I needed. The school party was wonderful and all of my students looked adorable, we had such a fun, sugar filled day. However, when the day was over I was exhausted and glad to see it end. Kids can be crazy on sugar!!

On Halloween night, we went to the church "Trunk-or-Treat" which was so fun and cold. After that we came home and ate homemade Chili (yes I made it and it was pretty good if I do say so myself). After dinner we made a huge bed on the floor in the living room, popped some popcorn and heated up some apple cider. Then we parked it on the floor and

watched "Race to Witch Mountain." I, of course, never made it to the end of the movie, I was out an hour into it, but the family said it was a wonderful movie. I guess I will never know.

Laying with my family that night I realized that I couldn't think of any other place on earth that I would rather be. It was a perfect holiday and I was surrounded by four of the most amazing people I know.

I was completely content with my simple, relaxing evening at home snuggled up with my family by the fire. I wish every day was just like this one!

MOM!! They said T-H-E...

2009-10-27T16:46:00.000-07:00

So, for those of you that know my "Braedon" know that from the moment he entered this world he has been going. He was born saying, "Hello world, here I am!" Most of you that know him, I am sure, are aware of the fact that he says and does some of the unique things. He is truly unique...and independent...and busy...and interesting. He is stubborn and smart all in one. He will look so sweet and innocent and then come out of nowhere and wack you with his light saber or a shovel or whatever else he can find!He can be my biggest challenge, the one who knows when to get that last straw, and my biggest, most loving boy all in one (usually on the same day, every day!).

This year Braedon started kindergarten and Toby and I were a little concerned because he just turned 5 in July. We were worried that maturity wise he wouldn't be ready

and that he was going to get into a lot of trouble with his best buddy Morgan, considering they are in the same class (those boys can be Hell on Wheels together!). Well, Toby and I were proved wrong and he is loving school and doing really well. We only had two incidents so far of him getting into trouble (both of which were with Morgan~ pretty sure Brady was the instigator! HAHA). Nothing a good ole' talking to didn't fix.

Since Braedon has been in school he is learning so many new things. His latest one is the color and number words and his favorite word, "the." He finds it everywhere!! We are at the store

and he finds it in the magazines, on T.V., driving down the road, etc. His new hobby is to pull out ALL of our books and start going through them until he finds the word "the." Then he ever so tactfully "yells," "Mom, are you kidding me, this word is everywhere!" This is Braedon, my yeller!!

Well, the other day we were at my Mom's having lunch and we were playing music. The music was being played to get my little one, Chase, to dance. Lately, every time he hears a beat, he starts rockin' out. So, a classic comes on and Chase, of course, starts dancing. Mom and I are laughing at him and filming the dance moves. Braedon pipes up with, "MOM!!! They said T-H-E!" My mom didn't catch it at first but I broke into hysterics. This may not seem funny to you until you know the song...AC/DC's "TNT." If you haven't heard

it you should, just to see the humor in this.

Well that is my Braedon. Always interesting, always unique, and always independent. There isn't a day that goes by that this little boy doesn't say something that makes me either laugh or think about it for days. Granted, there are also days that he makes

me want to reconsider parenting, but at the end of the day when I tuck this little guy into bed, I look at him and feel so lucky that he is mine. He is amazing and everything I hoped

he would be, attitude and all. I can't imagine a life without my Brady in it.

My Braedon is one of a kind for sure...never going to be another like him and I am happy for that. He is a whirlwind and a lover all in one. I can't wait to see what his next word or phrase will be. Till then, I will enjoy T-H-E!!!

Ranch Day

2009-10-25T15:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Saturday and we had made plans to go out to Mom and Dad's house for the day. They needed Toby to help with "wrangling" the sheep, trimming their hooves, and giving them shots. The original plan was to head out there around 10:00 am, along with everyone else. Well, Mom called at around 7:30 am to have us come out because she needed Toby to cut some wood for the fire pit. Toby's deal was that he was not coming out unless Mom was going to make him breakfast, so she agreed and off we were.

We got to Mom's around 8:30 and had a great breakfast of bacon, eggs, and muffins and then the

guys were off outside to get some work done while Mom and I finished up some cooking in the house before the rest of the guests arrived.

Around about 10:30, we headed over to the sheep pens and started the roping. It was quite the process and Toby learned to trim the hooves, he did really well and had a good time learning his new skill.

After doing all of the work on the sheep (don't let me fool you, I was the photographer only) we decided to go relax in the front yard and have a giant feast in the beautiful weather. We feasted on BBQ beef sandwiches, potato salad, garlic bread, corn salad, baked beans, napalito salad, etc. It was wonderful and we were all completely

stuffed when Dad came out of the house with the pies (of course, I can never turn down dessert so of course I piled that on too.)

All in all it was a wonderful day and we really enjoyed

ourselves. The kids played all day and Chase ate a lot of dirt! HAHA. I love those days when you can spend the day with family and friends and relax, even if you are working. Just the comforts of family I think!

What a wonderful

weekend this turned out to be!

As I watch...

2009-10-25T14:59:00.000-07:00

So, Tuesday my little one (my baby) turned one. It is hard to believe that a year has gone by already. It seems like just yesterday this little man entered our life. It doesn't seem long enough since we were making guesses on whether he was a boy or a girl or what the name was going to be. Now, I have this little man toddling around my house and making all of us laugh constantly. He is getting into everything and causing destruction in his big brother's life!

As we were celebrating his birthday on Tuesday night, I couldn't help but think about how much he has changed our lives. A little over a year ago, I couldn't imagine adding another child to our lives. I was worried about starting over with late nights, getting up in the night, juggling work and motherhood, and how my older ones would do with a new baby. Now, I see it as a wonderful thing that happened in our family and I can't remember a world without our little Chase.

It is hard to watch your little ones grow up but so rewarding in the same.

I love to see the little people that they become and the individuality they gain. Chase definitely has some personality. You would never know that the sweet, mellow infant I had is now a walking, talking disaster. He is trouble like you wouldn't believe. He is in to everything and picks on his older brother and sister on a daily basis. He has attitude and a temper that is unreal. But then he smiles or gives you a hug and you forget all the naughty things he was just doing. I love him so much!

On his birthday, Kiley, Braedon, and I hurried home from school to start his cake. We got that made and then made spaghetti for his dinner (since every little kid loves spaghetti). We sat down as a family and had dinner, which he made a huge mess on ALL of my kids. After dinner, we let Chase open his presents. He didn't have a clue what was going on so Brady helped him.

He really loved his sock monkey and loved on it all night. After presents was cake. We decided it would be best if we stripped him down to his diaper before starting the cake, this proved to be a great idea, he had it everywhere. He was eventually eating it off his belly, which was really cute!

Finally, we got "cake" man in the bath and he was my adorable little boy again. We put him on the floor to play with his new toys. He decided to take each one of his little cars and toddle over to the garbage and dump them in. After doing this to all five cars, he walked back over to the trash can and looked in at all of his cars and started crying. He was a mess!! It was hilarious, my other two think it needs to be an America's Funniest Home Videos moment, it was pretty great!

After we laid our birthday boy to bed, Toby and I began talking about our life and all the things that have happened since our wedding date. It is amazing that on the happiest day of your life you don't

have a clue how much better it can actually get from there. I now have three amazing children and am married to my best friend. I feel so lucky and blessed to have these things in my life. I am so proud of my children and the little people that they are becoming. As I watch them grow I feel more pride and love than I even knew I had in me. I look forward to the years to come and all the beautiful memories we will make in the process.

Chase~ Happy Birthday sweetie! I can't even describe how happy I am to have you as part of

our little family. I love you!

End Results

2009-10-24T17:47:00.000-07:00

The other night, I was having my normal evening conversation with my mom when we began talking about my sweet Kiley and how much fun it was to have her go on my field trip with me, as my helper. We started with discussing choices we make in our lives that give us a different end result than what we ever expected our lives to have. I can only share this experience and it's end result with you by starting at the beginning.

When I was sixteen years old, I got pregnant with my first child. It wasn't what I had in mind...my first time and here I was pregnant. Well, after a few months of contemplation, I

decided that giving my little sweetheart up for adoption was the best choice for my child (and me). So, I spent many months trying to find the perfect family for my baby, I wanted her to have the best. Finally, when I was 8

months pregnant, I found them! They were perfect and we met the following week. We had dinner and discussed how the adoption would work and what our hopes were for this baby. I was sad and happy all at the same time, ready to have a good family for my baby but sad to have to choose "parents" for my child.

On August 6th, 1999 at about 3:00am, I went into labor. I was immediately terrified and not quit ready to begin this chapter of my life...so we waited at home. I labored at home until I couldn't wait anymore. It was around 7:30am when we finally made it to the hospital, the stress and nerves were unbelievable. I labored for 11 hours before my baby girl was born. I remember looking at her and not being able to believe that she was mine and that I just brought this child into the world. She was beautiful! She was a 6 pound 6 ounce, 18 3/4 inch baby girl. She was so healthy and alert and I was so torn on what

to do next. I didn't know if I should hold her or even look at her. It was so hard as to what I was going to do, was I going to attach myself or try to distance myself? Little did I realize, I was already attached and already loved this little being.

The adoptive parents came in shortly after she was born to see "their" baby girl. It was so hard to watch them hold the child that should be mine. Was I making the right choice to give her a home with them? Or could I do it myself? I decided to hold her and look at her, because this would be my only chance to do it and I didn't want regrets. That evening, after every one had left the hospital, I decided to look at her and take everything about her in. I realized this was going to be so much harder than I had ever

imagined. She spent the next several hours in the nursery with the nurses while I finished the last entry into the journal I had kept for her, then I tried to get some sleep and get my composure before the next morning, when I had to send her to foster care for the next 48 hours before final signing. At about 4:00am, a nurse from the nursery brought her into me and said they had an emergency in the nursery and that all mother's needed to take their babies. I will still to this day believe their was divine intervention in that. Within the next 7-8 hours I couldn't get enough of her...I was hooked and could no longer imagine my life without this baby.

The time came for my discharge and her release to foster care. I tried to get it together but how do you handle releasing your first born (any) child to a complete stranger knowing that in 2 days you will sign the final papers to release your child FOREVER? I signed them and as I was walking out of the hospital, I looked into the nursery to say good-bye to a baby I thought I would never see again. She was crying and I asked to hold her. When I was holding "my" daughter and telling her how much I loved her, she stopped crying and looked up at me, it was then that I knew this would be the worst mistake of my life. That night I was broken and part of me was missing. I spent the night crying and thinking about this choice and it's permanent effects on my life. The next morning my parents and I talked and I CHANGED my mind. I went

and got my baby girl.

For the next three hours, we were at the foster care bringing our baby home and then at the store purchasing all the items that parents spend months getting to be ready to bring their baby home. I thought off and on about whether or not I had made the right decision for myself and my baby. It wasn't until that night when I got up with her and looked at her that I realized I had. She was mine and I loved her and no one would change my mind on that. I was so close to making the worst decision of my life.

For the next year, I had a lot of adjusting to do and a lot of growing up to do (Fast). I lived with my parents and they took care of "Kiley" during the day while I was at school and the evenings while I worked. It was hard to become responsible for someone and still find the time to be with them. I made it work, thanks to my parents and school counselors.

ended up graduating one year early and started my college classes the following fall. It was a lot of work and very life changing but I had my daughter. When I was 18 and Kiley was about 18 months old, I moved out into my own home. I moved in with someone that didn't treat me very well and within 6 months kicked them out. I was then faced with real reality...how was I going to pay my bills, continue on with school, keep my job, and provide for my child?

I began by cooking every night, changing my class schedule, and cutting out any extra expenses. I spent every evening with my daughter that I could and we read a lot of books! I made it work and we survived. There were many nights when the heater went out and I had to get up in 50 degree weather and figure out the pilot light or climb on top of my house and brush off the snow to get it working, all the while my baby

was piled under cover so she wouldn't know how cold it was. I cut corners at the grocery store so we would have affordable food. It was a struggle that I still don't know how I overcame, but every moment of it made me who I am today.

We eventually met Toby and he loved us both. He took care of us and eventually married US. We finally had our complete family and years later we added our boys. It is a wonderful life that I am very proud of. I have gone on to receive my Bachelor's in education and will continue on with my Masters in Education in the Spring of 2010. I want my daughter to know that she changed my life, and in the best way it can be changed. She was my inspiration and motivation behind the moves I have made in my life and so much of the success that followed. I know that my life would not have been the same without her and I am right, she is an amazing little girl. She inspires our family daily and gives me a reason to smile. I love her more than she will ever know and I wouldn't change a thing, not even the hard stuff. It made me who I am today.

To my Kiley~ thank you for an amazing life and a wonderful END RESULT! I love you and am so glad that I have you and you are a part of my life! Love you baby girl.

Officer of the Year

2009-10-19T15:50:00.000-07:00

Last week, Toby called me to inform me that he was being awarded officer of the year for his service to the schools and community this year. He said, "This isn't why I am in the job but it is a neat honor!" I still think he was excited regardless.

On Tuesday, the Chief of Police told him that they would be honoring him at a dinner. He said he wasn't sure when it was going to be so he checked his calendar and said, "Crap, it is this Saturday, can you go?" Of course, we wouldn't miss it, we were there.

Toby was getting ready for the dinner (in his Class A's, I might add, which are unbelievably attractive) and his Chief called. His question to Toby was, "What are you wearing?" to which Chief's wife said in the background, "You sound like a bunch of girls!" It was funny but they decided to both wear the Class A's.

After the phone conversation we were ready to go to the Elks Lodge for the honorary dinner. We were served steak, baked potatoes, corn, and rolls. Then the awards ceremony began.

Toby was honored third, along with one of his best friends from high school who is currently a Police officer in Pinetop-Lakeside. It was a really neat honor for all of the guys that earned awards.

This is Toby's second time earning this award. Once in 2007 and again this year. I am so proud of him and his hard work. It is so neat to see him so successful at something he loves to do. I know I am not the only one who recognizes the amazing work he does out there.

My kids

2009-10-18T12:37:00.000-07:00

Today, we went to Toby's Mom and Dad's ward to attend Sacrament Meeting. Floyd called us a few days ago and asked us to attend their meeting... we decided to go, who doesn't like being done with church earlier!

While getting ready that morning, we pulled it together in our family pretty quickly. The kids got ready without too many problems and Toby and I were able to get ready a lot faster since we weren't breaking up fights.

We went to church and it was a great meeting! Floyd was put into the bishopric as the first counselor and it was a wonderful experience. I am so grateful to have been able to share in the moment with them. On our way home, I began reflecting on the many reasons I am so thankful for my life and my children. There are so many I can't imagine listing them all or trying to even understand them all, but I love my children and am so glad that they are mine. They are good kids and they are the light of my life. I can't imagine my world without them and can't imagine having children any better than these ones!

A Day with my Boys

2009-10-14T19:24:00.000-07:00

So, Kiley was off to Disneyland with her "other" dad and left me to deal with the boys, alone!! So, we decided to go check out all the Fall Colors near Sunrise.

Fall is Toby's favorite time of year, so off we went for a day trip up to the beautiful Aspens. We have made it a family tradition to get up to Sunrise to do the "Scenic Lift Rides" every year, with the exception of last year since I was days away from delivering baby number three (a.k.a. Chase). This year, we brought Toby's family along for the occasion.

This year, just like the others, was busy and chilly. So, with the smell of kettle corn and hot chocolate in the air and a cold breeze in our faces, off we went. This year was no exception with the cold, the boys had ruby red noses when we reached the top, but the ride up was wonderful, except for some "dip" who decided that bras and Mardi Gras beads were the perfect decorations for a pine tree (didn't really do much for the tree!)

When we reached the top we saw a few people we knew, visited, and then decided

to have some fry bread and pepsi (I know, not a good combi

nation, but if it is any consolation, I did not drink any Pepsi~ that was the rest of the crew.) We had Toby's mom take our picture from the top, the wind was not as strong on the top...weird.

The view was beautiful and the colors were gorgeous. It made me remember why I love fall so much and how much I love living in the mountains of Arizona.

After staying at the top for a while, we decided to head back down. On the way down we got some silly pictures and some good ones of the kids and Toby and I. It was nice to have some family

time, although I will admit, I was missing my little Kiley. The

family just isn't complete without her. When we got to the bottom we visited with some people we know and then headed off for our "cook-out" in the woods.

We went to Greenspeak (Braedon was showing us his driving moves the whole way there) near our family camping spot and parked the truck. Toby, his Dad, and our two nephews began rounding up wood and making a fire pit, while I got the boys and the chairs out of the truck,

along with the ice chest and the foil packets that we had made up for lunch.

After Toby and his Dad got the fire going, we sat around and visited and waited for the coals to get hot. Toby's dad found a nice piece of metal to set on top and we all threw our foil packets on the top and got them cooking. Within minutes you could smell the chicken, potatoes, carrots, onions, and celery cooking (mine included some garlic, lemon, butter, salt, and pepper as well). The smell was making us all extremely hungry, what is it about being in the woods that makes you hungrier and makes all food taste better?

After the food was cooked, we all sat around and ate our lunches and visited some more. After eating, we sat around a little longer and then packed up our stuff to head home.

It was such a nice day. Toby and I decided to take the scenic route home, we weren't quite ready to get home yet. The drive was beautiful and QUIET! The boys had fallen asleep not ten minutes after we pulled out from our "lunch spot." It gave Toby and I a chance to visit, uninterrupted, which is few and far between.

We eventually arrived at home and got ready to head out to my mom and dad's for dinner. It was a wonderful day and it was topped off with a wonderful dinner at mom's house. The day was fabulous and nice and relaxing. I am so grateful for days like these!

When their fingerprints are gone...

2009-10-05T12:51:00.000-07:00

So, today I was home from work with my little one. We are both finally getting over this "crud." I decided one more day of rest wasn't going to hurt anyone and I got a great sub for my class. The baby and I took a nice LONG nap this morning and then we played for a little while on the floor. While I was playing with him I caught a glimpse of something I had completely forgotten about.

About 6 years ago, Kiley was learning to write her name and practiced all the time. It wasn't until one day, years later, while cleaning the house I found a spot that she had "discreetly" written her name. I, of course, burst into tears at the sight of her "baby" handwriting. This particular spot that she signed her name is underneath my coffee table in the living room. I am not sure when she wrote it or how she got away with it without my noticing earlier but she did. Today, looking at it, I am so happy that she did. I don't know that I will ever part with this piece of furniture strictly because of the signature.

On Saturday, I was home sick and during the time that I was resting, my little Braedon decided to do some "signature" work of his very own. I woke up to find the number "42" on a specific piece of furniture. He was not as discreet as his big sister though, his was in plain

view for everyone to see. While I was getting after my 5 year old for writing on furniture and telling him why he shouldn't do it, I thought about Kiley's name on my coffee table. While this did not add beauty to my "butcher block," it did add some character. Years from now will I remember how he wrote his "42" if it is not on my butcher block?

Every week, when I clean house, I am wiping away my growing children's little fingerprints. They are being wiped off the doors, walls, windows, sinks, etc. They won't be around forever for me to look at and remember the times in their lives when they were so small.

Each of them have chosen to "bless" me with one thing that will stick! Their penmanship on my furniture! While this may seem silly, I think I will let it stay. Our children are only small for such a short time and I, for one, would like to remember the times when they were so little and innocent and sweet. My children are wonderful and by far the best things that have ever happened to me.

I want my children to know that even when their little, sticky fingerprints are gone; I won't ever forget kissing the little hands that made them. I won't forget the looks of determination on their faces as they learned to write their names or their numbers and the excitement that crossed their faces when they finally got it.

I am so happy to have the three children that I do and for all the wonderful times and laughs we have shared thus far. I look forward to many more years of laughter and joy with each of you!! Thank you for enriching my life far beyond what I ever imagined.

Love,

MOM

My Hands

Sometimes you get discouraged

Because I am so small

And always leave my fingerprints

On furniture and walls.

But every day I'm growing...

I'll be grown up someday

And all those tiny handprints

Will surely fade away.

So here's a final handprint

Just so you can recall

Exactly how my fingers looked

When I was very small.

My Husband, my BEST friend.

2009-10-04T15:36:00.000-07:00

My husband, as most of you know, is a police officer in the area and the School Resource Officer at that. He has the opportunity to do the "scary/thrilling" stuff (depends on who you ask, Him or me on which one you get) and has the chance to work with the students. He has been in the schools since January and absolutely loves it.

I think it is amazing!! Not only do I get to have lunch with him every day but Tuesday (he eats with Kiley in the cafeteria on that day) but I get to have him home in the evenings and weekends, for the most part.

Several years ago when he told me that this was the profession he wanted, I was VERY against it! It scared me and I was not looking forward to having our family work around shift work. Well, as against it as I was, I wasn't going to hold him back from something he wanted to do. Now, looking back five years later, I can't imagine him doing anything else or our family running any other way. We have made it work.

Since Toby has been in the schools, I have seen a change in him. Not a bad or good kind of change but just a change in general. I have seen him develop relationships with kids and form bonds with them. I have seen him have emotional connections with them due to a lifestyle some of these kids "have" to live! He is a positive influence in the lives of these children who might not otherwise have one. I am so proud of him!

Yesterday, was the Public Saftey Open House at the Police Department. Toby was so excited about this since he is the D.A.R.E officer now. He made fliers and put up posters. He made announcements at the school and reminded the kids about it as they were going out to the buses on Friday. He really wanted a good turnout and he wanted "his" kids to be there. Well, he succeeded. They had the biggest turnout this year, ever. It was so neat to see all the kids there to see "Officer Gilmore."

He volunteered to be the "victim" of the Police Canine, "Holly." She is not a nice dog I might

add (her owner says she is just mis

under

stood but I just think she is extremely vicious). Toby had to simulate a criminal running from the police. He did, in a lot of gear, I might add and she attacked. It was crazy to watch.

After the simulation was over, Toby began walking back to the truck to get changed out of the bite gear and there were so many kids that just swarmed him. Comments like:

"Officer Gilmore, that was so cool!"

"Were you scared?"

"She is so fast!"

Toby looked so proud that all of those kids came and were so interested in what he was doing. His comment to them was pretty funny though, "That is why you never run from the cops!" The

kids just laughed and agreed.

During his time as the S.R.O, he has bonded with one child in particular. If you ask some of his previous teachers, they will most likely tell you that he is a "problem" child and is a "pain" and "you don't want him in your class." If you ask Toby about this kid, he will tell you "He is a great kid!" and "He is a funny guy." He has been given the title of "Toby's favorite."

This child has had a pretty disadvantaged life. Mom is a drug addict and dad has been in and out of prison. I believe he is currently being raised by his grandparents who are older and tired. There isn't a day that goes by at the school that this boy doesn't come up to me and ask where "Officer Gilmore" is. He tells me how cool and funny he is. He really looks up to Toby.

Well, yesterday at the Public Safety Open House, Toby volunteered to get into the "Dunk-a-Cop" tank to raise money for the Special Olympics. It was hilarious to see all the kids line up to "dunk" their D.A.R.E. officer. Toby, of course, was talking all the smack he could and the kids were "shutting him up" quickly by dunking him. He was in the tank for nearly 2 hours total and

raised nearly $200 dollars. The largest donation they have raised in years!

During the time that he was in the tank, the student that Toby thinks so highly of showed up. Toby asked him if he was going to take a turn at trying to dunk him and his reply was, "I don't have the money to do it, I just came to see you." Toby lent the child the money to dunk him. The look on the little boys face was priceless. He was so excited that he was going to get a turn.

Of course, he got three for three and Toby was down in the water each time. Toby told him he was a cheater and so on and the student loved every minute of it. After the student was done dunking Toby he came over and asked him about the "bite" dog and they chatted a little while longer until it was time for him to go. Toby made sure to shake his hand and tell him thank you for coming. It was neat to see! It made me very proud to call this man my husband!

As I was getting ready to leave, Toby stopped me and said this was so neat. He was pumped about all the kids showing up and supporting them. He was like a little kid again.

I am one of the lucky ones, I was able to marry my best friend. He, almost 8 years later, is still my best friend. He is the person I would choose to be with over anyone else and he makes me laugh more than anyone else. He is a wonderful father to his children and wonderful husband to me. He stands by my side when I need him the most and takes a step back when I need some space. He is a shoulder to cry on and a friend to laugh with. My life would not be the same without him! I love him more than he will ever know. He is and always will be my FAVORITE!

Sick of being SICK!

2009-10-04T15:09:00.000-07:00

I have now officially been sick for 11 days. My friend, Becky, told me last night that the flu is running 10-14 days, looks like I am one of the lucky ones that gets to do this for the whole 14 days.

It all started on Wednesday at work when I started to get a sore throat. By Thursday it was killing me. I called the doctor and told him what was going on and he prescribed

my Penicillin for strep throat. Well that is all gone and now it is in my head (like a sinus infection). Yesterday I spent the whole of my day on the coach with Vicks under my nose and Day Quill in my system. What a drag!! Especially on a beautiful day.

I decided last night to call my mom and let her know how "crappy" I felt. Mom's are always good for that kind of thing. After talking to my mom for about 3 minutes I already felt better. Here are some things I have decided about moms when you are sick, especially mine...

1) Know one else can take care of you like she can.

2) I should move in with her while I am sick and have her nurse me back to health.

3) No matter how old you are, Mom still knows best!

I am feeling much better today, but still a little under the weather. Maybe another lazy day and another good night sleep will help me get back to normal. Now I remember why I dislike this time of year, especially as a teacher. Uuuuugggggg!!!!!

I love Sundays!!

2009-09-29T09:59:00.000-07:00

I love Sundays, for so many reasons,

1) I don't have to work.

2) We go to church as a family.

3) I get to relax.

4) We spend the day as a family

These reasons are why I look forward to Sunday all week.

This Sunday was wonderful. We took it easy, I especially did, I am still trying to get over some really nasty flu/cold/strep/sinus thing. So, Toby, Kiley, and Braedon headed off to church while Chase and I stayed home. Chase took a nice long nap and I lounged on the couch and watched "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," really good movie.

When the rest of my family came home we all got in our "comfy" clothes and took naps. I LOVE NAPS!

After we woke up, Toby

got the turkey fryer out and prepared the turkey.

Braedon was so excited about it, he spent the whole time outside with Daddy while it was going. He was definitely the supervisor and messenger all in one. He would tell his dad how it was looking and then come in the house and relay the message to me.

During the turkey frying, Kiley was preparing the sweet potatoes and the stuffing. She is becoming quite the little cook and I love that she can help now. She loves it and so do I! While this was all going on, I was playing with the baby. He, however, had quite a rough day. While he was coming to give me a hug, he tripped and went face first into the coffee table and put his tooth through his lip. This may have caused most babies to cry for some time, he whimpered for about a minute, if that. He was then back on the go again. Within another 30 minutes, he fell again, this time reaching for his dad and cracked open his chin. That bled for a while but was pretty superficial. In about 5 more minutes, he busted his top lip on the remote, by swinging it around. He is a mess, not to mention the plant

that he pulled down on top of himself about an hour before all of this began. You forget how accident prone they tend to be when they first start walking. He was definitely keeping us all on our toes as well as making us laugh. He is a mess for sure!!

Check out those lips!!

After this experience, we decided it was best to move him as far away from the coffee table as possible, so we moved him by his toys, which happen to be close to our door. He decided to head outside.

This is where we found a plastic bottle under Toby's patrol car, this entertained him for quite a while. This was great news, as he wasn't hurting himself anymore. HAHA!! Eventually he decided to head over and help out Dad and Braedon with the turkey.

During this time, I got to spend some time with my sweet girl. We messed around in the living room and visited. Thank goodness for my little girl, otherwise I would be totally outnumbered in my home of "boys."

I am so blessed to have such a good girl. We talked about what she learned in church and her friends in school. She is

growing up so fast, I can hardly keep up with the kid. Yesterday she was born and today she is telling me about the boy that likes her, although she got very embarrassed about that and told me not to tell her dad.

What am I going to do??

I love watching her grow up into the girl that she is but I just wish I could slow it down a little bit!

Thank goodness for Sunday family time!

Finally, our turkey was done and Chef Toby was ready to show off his bird. I have to admit, it looked wonderful and

Braedon was mighty proud of it himself.

Daddy started to carve the bird and the rest of us snagged pieces off as he was doing it. It was juicy and delicious.

At that time, Kiley pulled her sweet potatoes out of the oven, as well as her stuffing. We put it all together and it made a wonderful dinner. Chase ate so much I thought he was going to be sick. Normally he isn't the biggest meat eater but he was doing pretty well on that turkey. I guess that

Thanksgiving will be a lot of fun this year.

After dinner, we cleaned up the kitchen and then got the kids ready for bed. It was such a nice and relaxing day. It is hard to say goodbye to Sunday's. Knowing that the next day is the beginning of another hectic, busy week. But I feel like I am lucky enough to have the family that I do and know that Sunday is only a few more days away and we will get to do this all over again. Till next Sunday....

Family Time

2009-09-27T11:14:00.030-07:00

Yesterday was a wonderful day!!

Toby was the first to "rise" this morning (which is NEVER the case, he is always last out of bed on any given day!) and went wood cutting with his dad. This is our final load, I think!

We have gone out every weekend for the last four weeks and I think that is enough.

While Toby was out wood cutting, Braedon,

Chase and I went to Kiley's friend's house to pick her up (she had stayed the night and went to the football game the night before). We spent a little time over there and then headed off to the grocery store to pick up TONS of groceries. We were in desperate need of produce and pretty much every thing else. Thank heavens for payday!!

When we got home, Toby was home and we all put the groceries away. After that we headed off to the "Run to the Pines" carshow. On our way up we decided that we all needed Frosty's from Wendy's. They were delicious! It's been a while.

Of course Braedon and Chase managed to get it every

where, even in places I am still question

ing how it made it's way there?!

Once we got to the car show we made bets on how many people we would see that we knew. I, of course won. As soon as we got there, we saw Jared and his friends, along with many others. We walked around and looked at all the cars, Braedon was so excited that he got to look inside the cars rather than just the outside. He was just as excited about the cars as his dad.

Toby wanted to explain to all of (just like he does every year, HAHA) about how to

tell the difference from one year to another. He tells us all about them all, until he gets to his '66 Chevelle Super

sports, then he tunes out every one us out and stares at every detail on the car.

After about an hour and a half, the kids started getting a little whiny and miserable due to the heat. Chase was a little better after we let him walk around but since he is still pretty new at walking, he wasn't making much headway, he was

walking in a lot of circles!

When we were done looking at the cars, we started our trek back to the car. Once the car was in sight Kiley and I decided to race,

let's just say I smoked her! She said I cheated but I'm not sure how?!

On our way back home the kids and Toby were pretty hot and a tad cranky. I decided they all needed to chill out and cool off, so I took a bottle of water and poured it down Toby's shirt and doused the kids in the back. They loved it even though they acted grouchy about it.

Once we got home, Kiley and I started our lasagna. I told her I would teach her how to make it. It is my favorite but takes roughly 3-3 1/2 hours to make, but it is totally worth it. We started out with our onions, garlic, and herbs and started to saute those. After that we added our

tomatoes and red wine, that has to simmer for about and hour and a half. While we were cooking the sauce, Kiley browned the spice Italian sausage and I started the Tiramisu (White Tiramisu with Strawberries and White Chocolate).

After the sauce was cooked, we added the sausage and made the Ricotta/Spinach mixture.

Then Kiley began layering while I finished up the Tiramisu. It looked wonderful, she did a great job! We put the lasagna in the oven and the Tiramisu in the fridge to chill. After an hour and a half the lasagna was ready to come out and set up. At this point, Kiley put her garlic bread in the oven and started dishes and Braedon made

salads. He was so proud of them!

The whole dinner turned out great and looked beautiful. Kiley and Brady were so proud of their food. It was a really fun thing to watch! After dinner, Dad cleaned up the kitchen and I put the boys in the bath. Kiley took her shower and we were all in our pj's. We then sat down and

boys in the bath. Kiley took her shower and we were all in our watched America's Funniest Home videos and Chase entertained us with his "dancing" to the theme song. After the kids went to bed Toby and I sat up and watched "I love you, Man!" It was pretty hilarious!

It was a wonderful day with my little family!

I cherish these times because before too long my kids won't be so little and their friends will become the highlight of their lives. I am so grateful for my husband and my children and the happiness they bring into my life everyday. I am so content with my life just the way it is. I can't imagine any other life than this and I am so happy that this one is mine!

Kiley's Lasagna:

My Tiramisu:

Braedon's Salads:

The Path

2009-09-25T20:17:00.000-07:00

There are reasons that all of us are who we are today. There are turns of events in our lives that make us take paths we may or may not have traveled. Whether or not we like where this path takes us is up to us. We are ultimately responsible for our own future and the quality of it.

I have had many examples of this in my life. I have had to make difficult choices and traveled paths I was very unsure of. However difficult they may have been, they have all lead me to a wonderful place now. I am blessed with beautiful children, a loving husband, a steady, successful career, and amazing friends and family that have always supported me.

As I reflect on the people who's support has been the most steady and consistent, I think of one person in particular.

This person is my best friend...

the one who will call me out on my "bad" behavior...

the one who knows more about me than anyone else...

and the one who is more like me than anyone else I know, or should I say I am more like this person.

I am blessed to get the opportunity to talk to this person usually on a daily basis and share my concerns with raising my family, the happy things in my life, and getting an account of their day. I don't know how I would make it in this world without this person, I wouldn't be the same with out being in this persons life.

Every value and moral that I know to be true

Every "Type A" personality trait I have

Every ounce of passion I have for life I have learned to love from this person.

SHE is the most amazing woman I know and holds the most special place in my heart and my life. I think of her role in my everyday life and the utmost importance it plays. She gives me hope and strength to be a better mother and wife.

Everything I have been taught to do started with this amazing woman, she has been there with me through it all. She has walked my winding path all the way from the beginning with me, holding my hand every step of the way. I am so grateful for this amazing person and I hope there isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't know how much I love her.

To my beautiful mother... I love you and would not be the same without you! You are the mother I hope to be to my own children. I hope on

e day they look at me and feel this way about me. When I think of you I thin

k of all the times in my life that you held me while I cried in your arms and

all the laughs we have shared together. You

are and always will be my best friend. Thank you for all that you have taught me and continue to teach me daily. I love you!

Two Very Special Guys...

2009-09-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I was so lucky to get to spend the weekend with two of my favorite guys in the whole world, my husband and my little "big" brother. We flew out to Washington State together and then we were able to spend all day Friday with just the three of us. While many have said, "Wow, you are so lucky" in a very sarcastic tone considering I was the only girl, it was a wonderful trip.

These two guys made me laugh so many times and so hard that my stomach hurt. We had the best day on Friday. We started out driving around our old stomping grounds. I have been up within the last 3 years so I was refreshing my brothers memory and sharing these memories with my husband for the first time.

After visiting the stomping grounds, we went to lunch at an amazing brewery and ate the best Fish N Chips ever. It was so good. Then we were off to the Bonneville Fish Hatchery and Multnomah Falls in Oregon. Jared was so excited to see the fish! I guess boys never really outgrow the love of seeing the BIGGEST fish.

While walking around the hatchery, Jared and Toby tried to outdo each other on who could embarrass the other the most. I think in turn, I was the one who got to be the most embarrassed, just take a look at how "Special" they are. I only wanted a nice picture of the two of them, this wasn't exactly what I was shooting for!

We then walked over to the Fish ladders and were watching the fish, this was when Toby told Jared that he would pay him $100 just to jump in with the fish. They both thought it was hilarious but that it was a bad idea considering Jared would be using the $100 plus much more to bail himself out of jail and pay fines.

After the fish ladders we went down to the dam to see it. Jared made a comment that the water was very "rapidy" and then realized immediately that that was not a word and

was a mistake that he would be paying for all day. Toby then started to make all words end with the "y" sound. They are a mess for sure. Then Toby filmed the dam and made a few really dumb jokes about it being the "damn dam" and how "rapidy the water looked." Jared was amuzed as well as the rest of us. Oh, the things that entertain us!

After we were done looking at the dam we were going back to the parking lot and rather than walking around this huge embankment we decided to race up it. Well, this is a pretty steep embankment but I beat them all, but once we hit the parking lot, Jared had me beat. He cheated though, he used his extremely long stride to win. I can't compete with 6 foot 6 inches of person!! It just wasn't fair odds!

We were leaving the hatchery and security had to put us through, Toby and the security guard began talking about Police Work forever so Jared and I made fun of him and his "Badge Heaviness" all the way to Multnomah Falls. This was hilarious! It was fun to be the ones picking on him once in a while because we all know Toby is the worlds worst.

At Multnomah Falls, it started to rain and Jared was taking pictures of everything, around every corner so it was freezing by the time we reached the top. When we finally go there, two

two people were practically having a photo shoot near the bridge. The girl kept telling the ridiculously posed guy to "look to the left and don't smile, pretend you don't care." We started to laugh hysterically and Toby made the comment about it being some kind of Abercrombie shoot. So, when it became time to take Jared's picture at the falls, Toby was ridiculous. He kept telling Jared (very loud I might add) to "Look Mad, Look Mad" and we couldn't keep straight faces. The people around us were laughing hysterically as well, so Jared's mad picture turned out to look so funny. But we have to give him credit for trying!

After leaving the falls we drove back to John and Mel's house and were able to spend the evening with some of our best friends in the world. Amber and Amanda. We have some history

that goes way back and we were able to reminisce and visit a lot. Amanda chose to make fun of Toby and Jared for the picture they took at Bonneville and they made their own personal shot of it. It was a classic. We sat around and visited with John, Melanie, Amanda, Amber, Uncle Scott, Nora, Debbie, Austin, and the three of us. It was a fun filled evening of tears, laughter, and lots of sarcasm. Our family would not be the same without it.

The next morning we got up to the smell of biscuits and gravy and bacon. Melanie is a good cook and she made a heap of food for the big day. We ate and shared laughter as well as more tears. We then went up on the mountain to the spot that John had picked out to spread my dad's ashes, it was breathtakingly beautiful. Thank you John for being so thoughtful! While we

all shed tears for our loss, we also shared funny stories and good memories and even had a few laughs. I cannot think of better people to share this experience with.

It was then that my "sweet" husband had my brother laughing, which he needed at the moment. He told him that the incline on the hill was very "steepery." It was hilarious and we all shared a laugh, considering they were all in on it too because we shared the funny story the night before.

We went back to the house after this and enjoyed a wonderful meal and time with together before my Grandparents went back to Oregon and Amanda and Amber drove back up to Seattle. We took some classic shots to mimic our "grown up" version of the four little kids that were inseparable. It was a bittersweet goodbye to them. I know we keep in contact so much better now but it is always hard to say goodbye to the two

girls that don't really count as best friends, they are more like sisters in a family.

After our goodbye, we were able to spend the evening with John and Mel and of course, the three of us. Jared and Toby were fascinated with Melanie's parrot, Ollie and I think they wanted to touch it but were scared (rightfully so, it would have bitten them). However, they would walk by it and it would do a weird hissing sound and throw up his wings, they thought it was so funny, I think it would have been funnier if the bird actually snagged one of them for messing with him.

We had a quite evening and watched a little t.v. after going back up to the spot where we spread dad's ashes, just one more goodbye before our departure the next morning. During the trip, John told stories that were so funny none of us stopped laughing for about an hour.

Good ole' John, you can always count on him for a good laugh and a good time.

The next morning we got ready and started on our hour drive to Portland to board the plane. Mel and I were pretty quiet, I think we were both dreading the end of the trip, but the guys kept visiting and telling stories. It was nice to have the guys. I sat in between my brother and my husband the whole way to the airport. They were squishing me but they were still a comfort to me. I love those two. They are the best support and I love them so much. They made a time that could have been harder, fun. We enjoyed ourselves and had some real quality time together.

As we said our tearful goodbye and promised to visit soon, Toby and Jared got our luggage and we headed into the familiar airport.

we sat in the airport, we had a great time of laughing about certain styles of people (such as socks and wedge heel flip flops) not the best look.

When we boarded the plane, we were all in seperate rows but managed to talk the other people into switching so we all ended up together. Before boarding the plane, I bought a word find book and ended up getting less time with it than the guys. Then there was competition between the two of them as to who could find more the quickest or who circled them better. They really are something else.

But as I looked at my brother and my husband I thought of how lucky I am to have these two special guys in my life. They know how to make me laugh when I am down and can relate

better to me than any other guys in the world. I am so lucky to have them as a part of my life. I am grateful for this trip so that I was able to have this quality time with both of them.

They are amazing men and I am so blessed to have them as a part of my family. I can't think of better people to have spent this time with.

Thanks guys! It was an amazing trip and I am so glad that I got to spend it with both of you.

A Final Resting Place

2009-09-06T16:46:00.000-07:00

So, last weekend we went to Washing-

ton State to put my dad to rest, finally. I feel confident that he will be happy with his resting spot, knowing that his children, parents, brother, and friends were there to send him off. We owe so much to these people (especially the Kercmar Family) for their love and support.

I hope my dad knows how much we love him and will forever miss his presence in our lives. I will miss the occasional phone calls we shared once in a while and the visits ever so often. I will miss my dad!

As we were having my dad's service, I began reflecting on the moments in my life that my dad was a part of. I remember the good and the bad, but choose to focus on all the good. During his services, my grandpa mentioned that his years in Appleton (where we lived) were the best years of his life. I have so many memories there that I count as some of the best in mine as well, who knows, some of them could have been shared by both my dad and me. My grandpa mentioned the day I was born and how proud my dad was. I can now say, after many moments and hours of reflection, I too, was proud to be his daughter.

I am so grateful to have my memories of my dad that I get to carry with me throughout the rest of my life.

I had a conver-

sation with a friend recently that I will be forever grateful to have had. She lost a parent in much the same way I lost my dad. We both lost our parents many years before their actual passing.

I lost my dad to alcohol many years ago, unfortunately, he was never able to catch his demons and pull himself out of his bottle, but the love I had for my father never changed . I realize now that I have gone through the grieving process twice for my dad. Once, 16 years ago when my parents divorced and we moved from Washington to Arizona. I didn't get to physically see my dad again from the time I was almost 10 until my 13th birthday. It was so hard to go without someone I cared about for so long, especially when I was so used to seeing him so regularly. I eventually became content with only phone calls. After that it was another 3 years before I saw him and that was only for a week.

I missed my dad and was very resentful of the fact that he wasn't around more. I didn't understand how if he loved me he could go so long without seeing me, especially when he always told me how much he loved me on the phone. It was very confusing to me. I finally, after marriage was able to reconnect with my dad and we had a great relationship for many years before I lost him and had to grieve him all over again.

I under-

stand the reason for my grief now, as I didn't under-

stand how I could take his death so hard when I hardly ever saw my dad. I realize that it is the "hope" I lost this time. I guess in all the years that my dad and I maintained a relationship, I always envisioned this wonderful day when my dad would call me and tell me that he had quit drinking and that he was moving down here. That he wanted to be a better father and a grandfather to my children. I had the hope in the back of my mind that someday he would overcome his drinking and live up to the potential that we all knew he had. I am broken hearted that I never had my hopes fulfilled and that he never beat it.

While this saddens me, I am grateful to have been able to know such an intelligent and wonderful person. I wish more people could have known the "Steve" I knew. He was amazing if given the chance to be. I will never forget the way he made me feel when I was a little girl and all the times his hug could cure anything. I was comfortable and content being with my "daddy" and spending time with him.

As we laid my dad to rest, I thought of all the things we would be without now. His laugh, it was contag-

ious! His humor, while sometimes crude, he had a funny side to him. His smile, I am told I have it myself. And his love, while sometimes strained I know my dad loved me. But I also thought of the things his death gave him...Peace, Closure to something so much bigger than himself, and Comfort. I know he is in a wonderful place now and someday I will be able to see my dad again and tell him how much I love him.

As I sprinkled my dad's ashes in the most beautiful place in the world, I told him goodbye and made sure he knew I loved him. I think he heard me because I was at peace with laying him to rest. I love you dad....until we meet again, rest in peace and know that you were loved dearly by many! Enjoy your final resting place.

Because of them...

2009-08-23T16:24:00.000-07:00

Because of them...

I found out that you can be utterly exhausted, love completely and have a broken heart all at the same time...

I learned that babies are more work than you could ever imagine, but at the end of the day they bring more joy then you knew possible...

I realized that it is only cute once in your life to cook in the nude with piggy tails, dimples and tenny shoes...

I found out that someone else could love her as much as me...

I experienced an emotion I still can't explain...

I finally appreciated fully the advice these amazing women shared with me and how much it had an impact on my life, as a woman and a mother...

I learned that "that" much drool can come out of one little man...

But I learned that bath time can fix just about anything...

I found out the meaning of "big blue eyes" and the role they play in my daily life...

I was reminded of the preciousness of a newborn baby and the presence they bring into your home...

I was also reminded of the "messy" baby stage again, but how much laughter is in a home with a baby...

I found out that "chocolate" kisses are the best kind...

I learned that Bob the Builder CAN fix it...

And little girls really are "daddy's girls"...

I realized that the "boys" in my life can touch my heart in ways I never imagined...

And dinosaurs can be the greatest form of amuse-

ment...

That school pictures are as good as Christmas and a birthday all in one...

Good or bad...

And that there will be days in our lives that will FOREVER top the record books...

I have also had the oppor-

tunity to find out that there are some people you can be complete-

ly silly around and they will love you know matter what...

And then there are those people that touch your life so deeply that you aren't sure how you got so lucky to find them and love them and have it returned..

I learned that a walk on the beach, can truly be a walk at the beach...

Because of them I am truly blessed and my life is wonderfully complete!

A Ray of Sunshine on a Cloudy Day

2009-08-18T20:02:00.000-07:00

It is amazing to me how my kids can lift me up so much when I am down. Today was a difficult day for me... we booked the flight to Washington and plans are final. I guess now we have to come to terms that this is real and we really do have to deal with it.

I spent some time with my little ones this evening and it is all I needed to end a hard day in a great way. They are the best things that have ever happened to me.

I am so grateful for them and the impact they have on my life. I am so grateful for a mother who led me to raise kids right and for a family who supports me. I don't know what I would do without them and their constant support.

In Remembrance of Dad

2009-08-15T10:36:00.000-07:00

Stephen Wayne Stewart born on June 22, 1950. Deceased on August 13, 2009

Steve was my dad...

When I was little, I believed he could walk on water. He was the biggest, strongest, and smartest. We shared many fun times together, including hunting, fishing, and camping. We had a family spot on Louis River and he even carved our last name into the picnic table and said that "marked our spot." He said no one else was allowed to camp there. I believed him, although I now know that wasn't true.

Within the past two months, my dad and I shared a laugh about several fishing and hunting stories. We talked about the "flicker" he shot by mistake, thinking it was a grouse. I never did let him live that one down. I still harassed him about that, 20 years later. We also recently shared a laugh about a fishing trip we went on when I was little. I was reeling in the fish and said, "Come on you bastard!" Can't imagine who I would have learned such a word from. HAHA!

I was able to reminisce with my dad about the past, probably more so than most daughters can do, that was what we had! I know that he loved the outdoors and as children, we spent a lot of time there. I can recall one time going hunting with him in the field across from "Disappearing Lake," sitting in an old homestead, watching the deer in the field. No gun, we weren't hunting he said. We were just watching how amazing they were. He told me to stay so quiet so I could see them. I moved and they spotted us and he told me to watch their ears and how still they would stand. It was a memory I am glad I have. I was lucky enough to see that side of my dad, not everyone was able to share that side of him. He had many sides to him, that being the best!

My dad and I reconnected about five years ago after many years of phone calls only. It was a difficult relationship at times, but I am grateful for those years. He was able to be part of my adult life and meet two of my three children and I was able to get to know my dad, for the person he was and not the image I had of him as a child.

I know that he made choices in his life that he regretted until the day he passed from this life, but one thing I always knew, whether he showed it or now, was that he loved me. He cared about me and the life that I lived. He loved my kids and wanted to be part of our lives, he just allowed things to get in the way sometimes.

He had many loves, one of them was food. When he would come to visit I would always get a request list of food and I remember that he loved pepper. He would have saved himself the time if he had just uncapped the bottle and poured it on rather than sprinkle it. He told me the last time he was here that I was a great cook and that I must have inherited it from my mother, I think he was right. He would always brag about how wonderful her spaghetti was, but he said my Shredded Beef enchiladas were better, little did he know it was her recipe. I guess he knows now.

I am saddened for the loss of our family, even though I didn't get to see him often, the absence is still felt. I sent my dad a letter last week, filling him in on the current happenings in our family and asking how he was doing. I sent it Saturday, along with pictures. He passed away Thursday night of a heart attack. There are two things I pray for, one, that he went quickly and peacefully (hopefully in his sleep), the other, that he got my letter and knew how much I truly loved him! He had his faults but he was still my dad and he meant a lot to me.

To my dad~ Rest peacefully dad! I will forever love you and the "super hero" image you carried in my heart. I will miss you and our conversations, I will always cherish our years together. You will always and forever carry a very special place in my memories and my life. I will be there to help lay you to rest next week, you won't have to do it alone.

I love you!

Your daughter,

Jessica

The First Day of School

2009-08-15T10:23:00.001-07:00

Well, first day of school.... I now have one in kindergarten...

and one in 5th grade...

Here they are sporting their "First Day" clothes... so cute!

And then there is Chase, what a ham he is growing up to be. He gets to spend his days with my best friend and dear neighbor, Kelci...

I am so lucky to have these little sweeties. Back to our busy lives in the "real world" now that summer is over.

My Weekend

2009-01-21T16:03:00.000-08:00

So, this weekend I was able to see my best friend of 25 years. She flew in from Washington on Thursday and stayed until Sunday evening. It was great to see her. She lives in Seattle, where I am from and we stayed Thursday night in the Fairmont, which was amazing!! Then Friday, we got up and let the kids go swimming and then had lunch with Rachael. Then we headed up the mountain and Saturday, spent the day at my mom's, reminiscing. It was wonderful. Really sad to see her go, but only until June when we go on vacation together. That's all for now!!

A Moment of Sheer Joy!

2009-01-21T12:01:00.000-08:00

He looks so happy!! I love this little man!

Another day in the Gilmore Family

2009-01-21T11:22:00.000-08:00

Just going around the house, cleaning up after the kids!! Seems like it is never-ending but totally worth the work. Tomorrow Amanda (best friend from Washington) flies in and I can't wait to see her. She is fantastic and I miss her like crazy. On top of all of that, Toby gets home from Oklahoma Friday night; two weeks is a really long time without him.

A FEW OF MY KIDDOS:

My sweet little boy was out. Crashed their for several hours. I got a lot done, but you can't help but peek on them once in a while. What blessings they are!

Gosh, she is getting so big! It makes me so sad, she is such an amazing little girl and I can't imagine life without her!

This one is all boy!! He is so much fun and keeps me so busy. He was so proud of the fact that he "climbed" up the tree (I put him up there). How can you not love their innocence.

A weekend away!

2009-01-19T12:11:00.000-08:00

What a great weekend!! The kids and I went out to Mom's, since Toby is still in classes in Oklahoma City. We had so much fun, the kids rode their Grandpa's tractor and Chase spent some time with my mom and me. It was a lot of fun, on Saturday we went on a drive and saw some really cool waterfalls and some really old man-made bridge. It was really neat.

My adorable kids

2009-01-09T08:57:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to share these pics with you...

My sweet family

2009-01-08T09:57:00.000-08:00

This is my little family... our story began in March of 2002 when my wonderful husband came into the picture...

Before this great man came into our lives, it was just me and my sweet baby girl...

Kiley was born in the afternoon (after a long day) on August 6th, 1999. She was 6 lbs. 6 oz. and 18 3/4 inches long. She was a blessing beyond anything I could ever have imagined!

When she was two years old, Toby and I began dating. Kiley and Toby became very close and it was obvious they loved each other.

So, our story began to play out. Toby and I were married on February 15, 2003...

We were able to go to Ireland to celebrate ...

Toby served his mission here in Ireland, so it was quite the experience...

Speaking of the church... I was baptized in the LDS church by Toby. What a great experience that was! (No, I wasn't yelling at him!)

After our honeymoon, we began our little family adventure. The three of us moved into our first home together and got a dog. After about 9 months of marriage, we found out we were pregnant with baby number 2. We were all so excited! During my pregnancy with our second baby, Toby and I were sealed in the Snowflake, Arizona Temple. It was such a wonderful and very anticipated day for us...

Finally, on July 31st, 2004 our son was born. With 2 hours of labor and 7 minutes of pushing, our little Braedon joined us!

He was 7 pounds 3 ounces and 20 inches long. He was amazing and such a fabulous addition to our little family. He brought so much energy and excitement into our family. He has definitely kept us busy.

During this time, we bought our first home and after Braedon turned 3 months, Toby joined the Police Academy. He became a sworn officer for Show Low Police Department in March of '05...

After Braedon turned one and Kiley started first grade, I went back to school. In May of '07 I graduated from NAU and received my Bachelor's Degree in education...

I then started teaching first grade. After our 5th anniversary, we found out we were going to have our third baby!

On Monday morning we had another baby boy, Chase Jared...

He weighed 8 pounds 2 ounces and was 21 inches long. He is such a sweet boy and has brought so much joy to our lives. Since then, our sweet Kiley, the beginning part of this journey, was baptized in the LDS church. That puts you up to date with the current status of the "Gilmore Clan."

* The GILMORE Clan *

50 rules for Daddy's with daughters

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