Those Moments in Life...

There are those moments throughout our lives that make us sit back and reflect. I have had this experience the last week. Not only did I need to sit back and reflect, but I needed to catch my breath, wipe my brow, and have a good cry!!

As many of you know, my husband is a Police Officer. He made this decision about seven years ago and, while I was supportive of this, I was also apprehensive. During the academy I was stressed for him, hoping he would pass all the tests, successfully complete his field problems, and survive the RTO's! At his graduation I don't think anyone could have been more proud of him.

After the graduation was when reality really sunk in...this is real...this is dangerous. The first day he was on his own out there (without his FTO) was terrifying. I couldn't sleep. I was so worried about him and what could happen. Thankfully he was fine and has been since! I feel blessed that he has been an officer for seven years without any injury.

As the wife of a Police Officer, you think about the dangers they are going to be involved in and the things they will witness but you don't let it consume you. You push it to the back of your mind, although it is always there and you know that something bad could happen. As a wife, I say my prayers for my husband every night. We, as a family, pray that he will be safe and make it home to us in the morning.

This past week has proved that our prayers work but also made the scary part of his job a little front and center for me again. My husband was involved in an "Officer Involved Shooting" and could have very easily lost his life. He was put in a very dangerous situation, not his first one I am sure, but this one turned bad quickly. I don't usually want to know and he usually doesn't tell me about the dangerous situations he is in; I probably don't need to know about them either. However, this one I knew about. As I sat with my husband that night after this incident, I could not be grateful enough that he was sitting beside me unharmed. My heart broke for him and the experience he had to go through. I was terrified at how easily he could have been injured or killed. Finally, I felt unbelievable gratitude to the other two officers that kept my husband safe. I will never be able to repay them for their quick thinking and smart decision that helped keep Toby alive.

Now, as I sit back and reflect upon the events of the past week, I realize how lucky and blessed our family and the other officers families really are. They were being watched over and due to their training and dedication to their jobs, they were able to protect each other from a situation that could have turned out very differently.

As for my husband, I am so grateful to have him. He is a wonderful man who works extremely hard to provide for his family. He is a great father who loves his children tremendously and an amazing husband that is my best friend. He goes out night after night and protects our community. Due to this, he doesn't see his family as much as he would like.

There are many people out there who will never understand the sacrifices these men make on a daily basis to protect. They are out when they are exhausted, they eat alone often in a quiet house, they miss their children's games and school programs, they stay up when they would rather be sleeping just so they can see their families, and they put their lives on the lines every day for some people who will never appreciate them. This is the kind of man I married! He is an unbelievable person and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank my Heavenly Father that he is mine.

To my sweet husband~ I love you more than words could ever express. I am so grateful for all you do for our family every day and I know the sacrifices you make. I am proud of you and all of your many accomplishments. If our boys grow up to be half the man you are I will be so proud! You are my best friend and I am so grateful you are safe! I love you and don't forget...you are my favorite!! xoxo

My Dad

Most of us can say that our Dad's gave us life...well how many of us can say that their dad gave them their lives back?? I am one of those such people who was blessed with that kind of dad.

For those that know my dad, they love him and respect him. For those that don't are missing out on an amazing person!

My dad entered my life when I was 9 years old. I first laid eyes on him when he picked up my mom at my Grandma's house. He stood at the door (mullet intact) with a beautiful bouquet of flowers for her...this was their first date after responding to adds in the paper. I leaned over to my

Grandma (as we pretended to be making spaghetti) and told her

"He is going to marry my mom!"

Low and behold, I was right. Several years later he and my mother got married. But still, it was not this day that gave my family "its" life back...I don't think I could pin it down to one particular day. It was a progression of many days and time.

It was the times my dad took the time to listen to us after a hard day of school or help us through difficult homework, the way he showed my little brother and I that he loved our mom (which is still obvious to this day), the way he showed us his silly side when playing games, the way he made up ridiculous songs in the morning to wake us up for school, but lastly, it was the way he always made it clear he loved us and supported us. He was never afraid to tell us how he felt, good or bad, and always made sure to let us know he was behind us.

I was not the easiest child in my teenage years and, as many children do,

I put forth many obstacles in the way for my parents

,but even at those times I knew how much my dad loved me.

I see him hurt when we hurt, feel happy when we are happy, and proud when we achieve our goals. I see the unconditional love he has for his grandchildren and the love he has for not only my brother, sister, and myself, but for my mom.

We all know that saying: "The best gift a father can give his children is to love their mother." My dad has lived up to every part of that saying. He is one of the best men I know and I am so grateful to call him my dad. He was a gift to our family and I hope he knows that there wasn't a better gift out there, then and now.

To my dad...while you weren't there the day I was born, there for my first steps, my first day of school, or my first word; you were there when I got my first boyfriend, the first time my heart was

broken, there to reassure me college wasn't that scary, there to walk me down the aisle, and to be there when I brought my first child into this world. You were there cheering me on when I graduated from school, and you are there everyday when I need you. You have been in my life for the most important pieces of it and they wouldn't be complete without you in them. I love you more than you will ever know and I am so glad you read the paper that day and picked my mom!! You changed our lives that day and gave us the life we have today. You are the best dad in the world and I am so glad to call you mine!! I love you, DAD!

What Makes A Dad

God took the strength of a mountain, The majesty of a tree, The warmth of a summer sun, The calm of a quiet sea, The generous soul of nature, The comforting arm of night, The wisdom of the ages, The power of the eagle's flight, The joy of a morning in spring, The faith of a mustard seed, The patience of eternity, The depth of a family need, Then God combined these qualities, When there was nothing more to add, He knew His masterpiece was complete, And so, He called it ... "DAD!" ...Author Unknow

Why I love summer

Summer is amazing! There are so many reasons to love it. These are a few of my favorites.

Days of swimming around in the pool.

A never-ending bowl of fruit salad.

Sticky, drippy watermelon.

Endless Otter-Pops.

Going barefoot all summer long.

The sound of the ice-cream man coming

down the street.

Playing all day in the shade.

Riding bikes until the wee hours of the night.

BBQ'd food every night.

Sprinklers in the green grass.

Lazy afternoon naps.

The smell of the monsoon's coming.

Days of gazing at the sunny, blue sky.

Ice-cream any time of the day.

I love summer and the time I get with my family. The moments I share with my children in the summer are priceless and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. Sometimes I wish summer would never end.

A Priceless Gift

Everyone knows what they are....most of us have had one or two good ones throughout our lives...some of us have had exceptional ones that we will never forget. I feel like I am one of the lucky few who has and always will have mine forever.

As I was reading through my Facebook wall the other day, it occurred to me how many people have at one time or another been a part of my life. Some of them for only a brief time and others for longer times. Some of them were a part of my life before my family began and some of them arrived after it started. Many of them were childhood friends, while others became friends of mine in my adult life. Whenever the time or the place in my life, they have all at some point been a part of it and I have memories of them.

There is, however, one of these people that stands out to me the most. She has been my best friend through my hardest times, happiest times, and easiest times. She has been my best friend when I felt I had no others and when I thought my world may be coming to an end. She has made me laugh, made me cry, and just been there to listen.

I believe that all of our friends are important and help mold who we become, good or bad. I believe that there are some friends out there that we were destined to know. That we chose them and knew them before we ever entered this world, why else would that bond be so strong that it is nearly unbreakable?

For me, in my life, that friend is Amanda. She has literally been my best friend my entire life. Our mom's were and still are best friends and were pregnant with us at the same time. We have had our hearts broken when my mom, brother, and I made the long move from Washington to Arizona, yet we have still maintained a long distance friendship for more than 17 years. In those 17 years we have visited each other about half a dozen times and when we see each other it feels as though no time has passed.

While she may be just my friend, she is more family to me than she may realize. We may not have the same blood running through our veins (then again who knows, I think we tried that "Blood Brothers" thing a few times). She has always been a part of my life and will continue to be.

Friendships are something that should be cherished. I have had friends in my life that I loved so dearly and then circumstances came along and changed who we were or how we acted and we suddenly had nothing in common anymore. To those friends, it is a loss...but we all grow and move on at some point. Then there are those friends that grow right along with you and you never lose that common ground.

There are probably not two people in this world that are more opposite than Amanda and I.

She is blonde and I am brunette.

She is short and I am tall.

She has brown eyes and I have blue.

She has a sister and I have a brother.

She "doesn't like kids" and I love them!! HAHA

She is great at Geography and I am horrible!

She lives in Seattle and the rain and I live in Arizona and the heat.

She is athletic and I am a mess.

She has an extremely BUSY life and mine is fairly mellow (for the most part).

She drives a car and I drive an SUV.

She lives alone and I live in a zoo!! HAHA.

However many differences we may have, at the end of the day, those don't matter at all because we have so many commonalities and we love each other. Our memories don't go away and our fondness for each other and our families is ingrained in us.

I spoke to her just the other day and we talked about relationships, families, friends, cooking, and surviving every day life. I was there to listen to her and she heard me out. It had been months since we had spoken and she said she called just to "hear my voice." It is amazing that in 27 years we have never lost what we started as toddlers. It has just matured and evolved to something better.

To my dear Amanda, I am so grateful to still call you my friend. I miss you so often but always look forward to that next visit or girls weekend. I can't wait to see you next month and hope you know how much you mean to me and how much I love you!!

Love~ Jess

Friendship is not a big thing~ it is a million little things!

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge
against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how
much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well
again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask;
"because you are my friend".

Summer

I'm dreaming of warm sandy beaches. I'm dreaming of days by the pool. I'm dreaming of fun in the afternoon sun, and week after week of no school.  I'm thinking of swim suits and sprinklers, imagining lemonade stands. I'm lost in a daydream of squirt guns and ice cream and plenty of time on my hands.  I'm picturing baseball and hot dogs, Envisioning games at the park, and how it stays light until late every night, and seems like it never gets dark.  I long to ride skateboards and scooters. I want to wear t-shirts and shorts. I'd go for a hike, or I'd ride on my bike, or play lots of summertime sports.  My revery turns to a yearning to draw on the driveway with chalk. It's really a bummer to daydream of summer while shoveling snow from the walk.
I am so glad that summer is actually here!!  

I could not be happier that summer is finally here.  We are now three weeks in and have accomplished so much!  It started out a little rocky but we have really made the most of it. Right after school ended, Toby's older brother, Terry, was injured in an accident and ended up passing away.  It was a huge tragedy for our family and even worse for Toby's parents.  The first week of summer we had his funeral.  During that time we kept Toby busy with all sorts of projects.  He ripped out the carpet and lanolium and replaced it with wood flooring.  It looks amazing.  On top of that project we decided to redo the kids rooms.  Kiley will be starting Junior High next year and really needs her own room, so we put her in her own room and the boys now share a room and bunk beds.  It turned out really great.  It was a good opportunity to clean out closets, under beds, etc.  Now, Kiley has her own room (which is super cute!) and the boys share.  We also redid our yard.  We tilled up the old yard that our dogs had demolished and added a gravel walkway.  Toby re-seeded and it is now growing so well.  Then in the backyard he filled in gravel, added a fire pit and is putting down railroad ties to seperate the grass from the gravel.  We also cleaned out the shed, which was an interesting task.  Our final project was a new security door and vanity for the bathroom, along with lattice work in the front yard for our honeysuckle to climb up.

Hard to believe it has only been three weeks of summer and we have accomplished all of this.  I think we are now ready to relax and enjoy the rest of our summer.  July is pretty booked with vacations, trips, and other "FUN" things.  Kiley has All-Star games in July as well, so it should be a fun summer.  I am looking forward to it.  Relaxation and enjoyment before the year starts up again and I begin working on my Master's Degree.  

I am most excited for our vacation this summer, a West Coast trip to the Redwood Forest and visiting best friends in Washington.  It should be so much for all of us and the kids will get to see a lot of country.

I am so GRATEFUL for being a teacher, especially in the summer!!  

Mean Moms

Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean ol Mom told me:

I loved you enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep. I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren't perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough . . to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.

To my Mom! I love you more than you will ever know and thanks for being a "Mean" mom. Love~Sis

Spring Break

Well, Spring Break is finally upon us. Hooray!!!

I slept in this morning, well, if eight o'clock counts as sleeping in. In my world, that is sleeping in. Then I got up, had breakfast with my little boys and started cleaning. I got stuff cleaned that I have been putting off for months and finally, my house seems to be back to normal for the most part. While I don't love cleaning house, when I have enough time off, it isn't so bad, not to mention listening to music the whole time is nice too.

After cleaning the house, I showered and decided to catch up on some shows and do the laundry. After to shows, I took the baby to the post office with me and checked the mail. Of course, nothing interesting, all bills or junk it seems.

After returning from the Post Office I decided to play outside with my boys. It was such a beautiful day, I couldn't resist. I sat and talked to them while they played "Light Sabers" and jumped on the trampoline. It was really relaxing and nice to just sit with them. They are such sweet boys and so easy to be around. I love watching them crack each other up at the most silly things. This is what life is all about!

My hubby is in Phoenix for a conference and Kiley is at her dad's until this evening. I don't always get time to just spend special time with the two boys and "mom." It was so nice. Brady slept in my big bed with me last night, since he said he needed to protect me since dad was gone. He is such a little man!

All in all, for my first official day of Spring Break, it was wonderful. I got a lot of necessary and unnecessary stuff accomplished and I still got to relax, spend time with my kids, and enjoy the beautiful weather.

The rest of the week looks promising as well. Tomorrow Kiley and I have some reading to catch up on and we are probably going to swing out to my mom's for a little while to let the kids feed the baby calf and Wednesday I am taking her to the movies with her friend. Toby will be home on Wednesday so we will get to spend a day together too. Then we are off to Phoenix Thursday morning until Sunday afternoon. It should be fun, we are hitting the Renaissance Festival and a Spring Training game.

Well that is about it for my update on life. I am just very grateful to have a few moments to myself for an update on the blog. So much for keeping an updated online "journal??" Oh well, I guess some is better than none!!