MOM!! They said T-H-E...

So, for those of you that know my "Braedon" know that from the moment he entered this world he has been going. He was born saying, "Hello world, here I am!" Most of you that know him, I am sure, are aware of the fact that he says and does some of the unique things. He is truly unique...and independent...and busy...and interesting. He is stubborn and smart all in one. He will look so sweet and innocent and then come out of nowhere and wack you with his light saber or a shovel or whatever else he can find!He can be my biggest challenge, the one who knows when to get that last straw, and my biggest, most loving boy all in one (usually on the same day, every day!).

This year Braedon started kindergarten and Toby and I were a little concerned because he just turned 5 in July. We were worried that maturity wise he wouldn't be ready

and that he was going to get into a lot of trouble with his best buddy Morgan, considering they are in the same class (those boys can be Hell on Wheels together!). Well, Toby and I were proved wrong and he is loving school and doing really well. We only had two incidents so far of him getting into trouble (both of which were with Morgan~ pretty sure Brady was the instigator! HAHA). Nothing a good ole' talking to didn't fix.

Since Braedon has been in school he is learning so many new things. His latest one is the color and number words and his favorite word, "the." He finds it everywhere!! We are at the store

and he finds it in the magazines, on T.V., driving down the road, etc. His new hobby is to pull out ALL of our books and start going through them until he finds the word "the." Then he ever so tactfully "yells," "Mom, are you kidding me, this word is everywhere!" This is Braedon, my yeller!!

Well, the other day we were at my Mom's having lunch and we were playing music. The music was being played to get my little one, Chase, to dance. Lately, every time he hears a beat, he starts rockin' out. So, a classic comes on and Chase, of course, starts dancing. Mom and I are laughing at him and filming the dance moves. Braedon pipes up with, "MOM!!! They said T-H-E!" My mom didn't catch it at first but I broke into hysterics. This may not seem funny to you until you know the song...AC/DC's "TNT." If you haven't heard

it you should, just to see the humor in this.

Well that is my Braedon. Always interesting, always unique, and always independent. There isn't a day that goes by that this little boy doesn't say something that makes me either laugh or think about it for days. Granted, there are also days that he makes

me want to reconsider parenting, but at the end of the day when I tuck this little guy into bed, I look at him and feel so lucky that he is mine. He is amazing and everything I hoped

he would be, attitude and all. I can't imagine a life without my Brady in it.

My Braedon is one of a kind for sure...never going to be another like him and I am happy for that. He is a whirlwind and a lover all in one. I can't wait to see what his next word or phrase will be. Till then, I will enjoy T-H-E!!!

Ranch Day

Yesterday was Saturday and we had made plans to go out to Mom and Dad's house for the day. They needed Toby to help with "wrangling" the sheep, trimming their hooves, and giving them shots. The original plan was to head out there around 10:00 am, along with everyone else. Well, Mom called at around 7:30 am to have us come out because she needed Toby to cut some wood for the fire pit. Toby's deal was that he was not coming out unless Mom was going to make him breakfast, so she agreed and off we were.

We got to Mom's around 8:30 and had a great breakfast of bacon, eggs, and muffins and then the

guys were off outside to get some work done while Mom and I finished up some cooking in the house before the rest of the guests arrived.

Around about 10:30, we headed over to the sheep pens and started the roping. It was quite the process and Toby learned to trim the hooves, he did really well and had a good time learning his new skill.

After doing all of the work on the sheep (don't let me fool you, I was the photographer only) we decided to go relax in the front yard and have a giant feast in the beautiful weather. We feasted on BBQ beef sandwiches, potato salad, garlic bread, corn salad, baked beans, napalito salad, etc. It was wonderful and we were all completely

stuffed when Dad came out of the house with the pies (of course, I can never turn down dessert so of course I piled that on too.)

All in all it was a wonderful day and we really enjoyed

ourselves. The kids played all day and Chase ate a lot of dirt! HAHA. I love those days when you can spend the day with family and friends and relax, even if you are working. Just the comforts of family I think!

What a wonderful

weekend this turned out to be!

As I watch...

So, Tuesday my little one (my baby) turned one. It is hard to believe that a year has gone by already. It seems like just yesterday this little man entered our life. It doesn't seem long enough since we were making guesses on whether he was a boy or a girl or what the name was going to be. Now, I have this little man toddling around my house and making all of us laugh constantly. He is getting into everything and causing destruction in his big brother's life!

As we were celebrating his birthday on Tuesday night, I couldn't help but think about how much he has changed our lives. A little over a year ago, I couldn't imagine adding another child to our lives. I was worried about starting over with late nights, getting up in the night, juggling work and motherhood, and how my older ones would do with a new baby. Now, I see it as a wonderful thing that happened in our family and I can't remember a world without our little Chase.

It is hard to watch your little ones grow up but so rewarding in the same.

I love to see the little people that they become and the individuality they gain. Chase definitely has some personality. You would never know that the sweet, mellow infant I had is now a walking, talking disaster. He is trouble like you wouldn't believe. He is in to everything and picks on his older brother and sister on a daily basis. He has attitude and a temper that is unreal. But then he smiles or gives you a hug and you forget all the naughty things he was just doing. I love him so much!

On his birthday, Kiley, Braedon, and I hurried home from school to start his cake. We got that made and then made spaghetti for his dinner (since every little kid loves spaghetti). We sat down as a family and had dinner, which he made a huge mess on ALL of my kids. After dinner, we let Chase open his presents. He didn't have a clue what was going on so Brady helped him.

He really loved his sock monkey and loved on it all night. After presents was cake. We decided it would be best if we stripped him down to his diaper before starting the cake, this proved to be a great idea, he had it everywhere. He was eventually eating it off his belly, which was really cute!

Finally, we got "cake" man in the bath and he was my adorable little boy again. We put him on the floor to play with his new toys. He decided to take each one of his little cars and toddle over to the garbage and dump them in. After doing this to all five cars, he walked back over to the trash can and looked in at all of his cars and started crying. He was a mess!! It was hilarious, my other two think it needs to be an America's Funniest Home Videos moment, it was pretty great!

After we laid our birthday boy to bed, Toby and I began talking about our life and all the things that have happened since our wedding date. It is amazing that on the happiest day of your life you don't

have a clue how much better it can actually get from there. I now have three amazing children and am married to my best friend. I feel so lucky and blessed to have these things in my life. I am so proud of my children and the little people that they are becoming. As I watch them grow I feel more pride and love than I even knew I had in me. I look forward to the years to come and all the beautiful memories we will make in the process.

Chase~ Happy Birthday sweetie! I can't even describe how happy I am to have you as part of

our little family. I love you!

End Results

The other night, I was having my normal evening conversation with my mom when we began talking about my sweet Kiley and how much fun it was to have her go on my field trip with me, as my helper. We started with discussing choices we make in our lives that give us a different end result than what we ever expected our lives to have. I can only share this experience and it's end result with you by starting at the beginning.

When I was sixteen years old, I got pregnant with my first child. It wasn't what I had in mind...my first time and here I was pregnant. Well, after a few months of contemplation, I

decided that giving my little sweetheart up for adoption was the best choice for my child (and me). So, I spent many months trying to find the perfect family for my baby, I wanted her to have the best. Finally, when I was 8

months pregnant, I found them! They were perfect and we met the following week. We had dinner and discussed how the adoption would work and what our hopes were for this baby. I was sad and happy all at the same time, ready to have a good family for my baby but sad to have to choose "parents" for my child.

On August 6th, 1999 at about 3:00am, I went into labor. I was immediately terrified and not quit ready to begin this chapter of my life...so we waited at home. I labored at home until I couldn't wait anymore. It was around 7:30am when we finally made it to the hospital, the stress and nerves were unbelievable. I labored for 11 hours before my baby girl was born. I remember looking at her and not being able to believe that she was mine and that I just brought this child into the world. She was beautiful! She was a 6 pound 6 ounce, 18 3/4 inch baby girl. She was so healthy and alert and I was so torn on what

to do next. I didn't know if I should hold her or even look at her. It was so hard as to what I was going to do, was I going to attach myself or try to distance myself? Little did I realize, I was already attached and already loved this little being.

The adoptive parents came in shortly after she was born to see "their" baby girl. It was so hard to watch them hold the child that should be mine. Was I making the right choice to give her a home with them? Or could I do it myself? I decided to hold her and look at her, because this would be my only chance to do it and I didn't want regrets. That evening, after every one had left the hospital, I decided to look at her and take everything about her in. I realized this was going to be so much harder than I had ever

imagined. She spent the next several hours in the nursery with the nurses while I finished the last entry into the journal I had kept for her, then I tried to get some sleep and get my composure before the next morning, when I had to send her to foster care for the next 48 hours before final signing. At about 4:00am, a nurse from the nursery brought her into me and said they had an emergency in the nursery and that all mother's needed to take their babies. I will still to this day believe their was divine intervention in that. Within the next 7-8 hours I couldn't get enough of her...I was hooked and could no longer imagine my life without this baby.

The time came for my discharge and her release to foster care. I tried to get it together but how do you handle releasing your first born (any) child to a complete stranger knowing that in 2 days you will sign the final papers to release your child FOREVER? I signed them and as I was walking out of the hospital, I looked into the nursery to say good-bye to a baby I thought I would never see again. She was crying and I asked to hold her. When I was holding "my" daughter and telling her how much I loved her, she stopped crying and looked up at me, it was then that I knew this would be the worst mistake of my life. That night I was broken and part of me was missing. I spent the night crying and thinking about this choice and it's permanent effects on my life. The next morning my parents and I talked and I CHANGED my mind. I went

and got my baby girl.

For the next three hours, we were at the foster care bringing our baby home and then at the store purchasing all the items that parents spend months getting to be ready to bring their baby home. I thought off and on about whether or not I had made the right decision for myself and my baby. It wasn't until that night when I got up with her and looked at her that I realized I had. She was mine and I loved her and no one would change my mind on that. I was so close to making the worst decision of my life.

For the next year, I had a lot of adjusting to do and a lot of growing up to do (Fast). I lived with my parents and they took care of "Kiley" during the day while I was at school and the evenings while I worked. It was hard to become responsible for someone and still find the time to be with them. I made it work, thanks to my parents and school counselors.

ended up graduating one year early and started my college classes the following fall. It was a lot of work and very life changing but I had my daughter. When I was 18 and Kiley was about 18 months old, I moved out into my own home. I moved in with someone that didn't treat me very well and within 6 months kicked them out. I was then faced with real reality...how was I going to pay my bills, continue on with school, keep my job, and provide for my child?

I began by cooking every night, changing my class schedule, and cutting out any extra expenses. I spent every evening with my daughter that I could and we read a lot of books! I made it work and we survived. There were many nights when the heater went out and I had to get up in 50 degree weather and figure out the pilot light or climb on top of my house and brush off the snow to get it working, all the while my baby

was piled under cover so she wouldn't know how cold it was. I cut corners at the grocery store so we would have affordable food. It was a struggle that I still don't know how I overcame, but every moment of it made me who I am today.

We eventually met Toby and he loved us both. He took care of us and eventually married US. We finally had our complete family and years later we added our boys. It is a wonderful life that I am very proud of. I have gone on to receive my Bachelor's in education and will continue on with my Masters in Education in the Spring of 2010. I want my daughter to know that she changed my life, and in the best way it can be changed. She was my inspiration and motivation behind the moves I have made in my life and so much of the success that followed. I know that my life would not have been the same without her and I am right, she is an amazing little girl. She inspires our family daily and gives me a reason to smile. I love her more than she will ever know and I wouldn't change a thing, not even the hard stuff. It made me who I am today.

To my Kiley~ thank you for an amazing life and a wonderful END RESULT! I love you and am so glad that I have you and you are a part of my life! Love you baby girl.

Officer of the Year

Last week, Toby called me to inform me that he was being awarded officer of the year for his service to the schools and community this year. He said, "This isn't why I am in the job but it is a neat honor!" I still think he was excited regardless.

On Tuesday, the Chief of Police told him that they would be honoring him at a dinner. He said he wasn't sure when it was going to be so he checked his calendar and said, "Crap, it is this Saturday, can you go?" Of course, we wouldn't miss it, we were there.

Toby was getting ready for the dinner (in his Class A's, I might add, which are unbelievably attractive) and his Chief called. His question to Toby was, "What are you wearing?" to which Chief's wife said in the background, "You sound like a bunch of girls!" It was funny but they decided to both wear the Class A's.

After the phone conversation we were ready to go to the Elks Lodge for the honorary dinner. We were served steak, baked potatoes, corn, and rolls. Then the awards ceremony began.

Toby was honored third, along with one of his best friends from high school who is currently a Police officer in Pinetop-Lakeside. It was a really neat honor for all of the guys that earned awards.

This is Toby's second time earning this award. Once in 2007 and again this year. I am so proud of him and his hard work. It is so neat to see him so successful at something he loves to do. I know I am not the only one who recognizes the amazing work he does out there.

My kids

Today, we went to Toby's Mom and Dad's ward to attend Sacrament Meeting. Floyd called us a few days ago and asked us to attend their meeting... we decided to go, who doesn't like being done with church earlier!

While getting ready that morning, we pulled it together in our family pretty quickly. The kids got ready without too many problems and Toby and I were able to get ready a lot faster since we weren't breaking up fights.

We went to church and it was a great meeting! Floyd was put into the bishopric as the first counselor and it was a wonderful experience. I am so grateful to have been able to share in the moment with them. On our way home, I began reflecting on the many reasons I am so thankful for my life and my children. There are so many I can't imagine listing them all or trying to even understand them all, but I love my children and am so glad that they are mine. They are good kids and they are the light of my life. I can't imagine my world without them and can't imagine having children any better than these ones!

A Day with my Boys

So, Kiley was off to Disneyland with her "other" dad and left me to deal with the boys, alone!! So, we decided to go check out all the Fall Colors near Sunrise.

Fall is Toby's favorite time of year, so off we went for a day trip up to the beautiful Aspens. We have made it a family tradition to get up to Sunrise to do the "Scenic Lift Rides" every year, with the exception of last year since I was days away from delivering baby number three (a.k.a. Chase). This year, we brought Toby's family along for the occasion.

This year, just like the others, was busy and chilly. So, with the smell of kettle corn and hot chocolate in the air and a cold breeze in our faces, off we went. This year was no exception with the cold, the boys had ruby red noses when we reached the top, but the ride up was wonderful, except for some "dip" who decided that bras and Mardi Gras beads were the perfect decorations for a pine tree (didn't really do much for the tree!)

When we reached the top we saw a few people we knew, visited, and then decided

to have some fry bread and pepsi (I know, not a good combi

nation, but if it is any consolation, I did not drink any Pepsi~ that was the rest of the crew.) We had Toby's mom take our picture from the top, the wind was not as strong on the top...weird.

The view was beautiful and the colors were gorgeous. It made me remember why I love fall so much and how much I love living in the mountains of Arizona.

After staying at the top for a while, we decided to head back down. On the way down we got some silly pictures and some good ones of the kids and Toby and I. It was nice to have some family

time, although I will admit, I was missing my little Kiley. The

family just isn't complete without her. When we got to the bottom we visited with some people we know and then headed off for our "cook-out" in the woods.

We went to Greenspeak (Braedon was showing us his driving moves the whole way there) near our family camping spot and parked the truck. Toby, his Dad, and our two nephews began rounding up wood and making a fire pit, while I got the boys and the chairs out of the truck,

along with the ice chest and the foil packets that we had made up for lunch.

After Toby and his Dad got the fire going, we sat around and visited and waited for the coals to get hot. Toby's dad found a nice piece of metal to set on top and we all threw our foil packets on the top and got them cooking. Within minutes you could smell the chicken, potatoes, carrots, onions, and celery cooking (mine included some garlic, lemon, butter, salt, and pepper as well). The smell was making us all extremely hungry, what is it about being in the woods that makes you hungrier and makes all food taste better?

After the food was cooked, we all sat around and ate our lunches and visited some more. After eating, we sat around a little longer and then packed up our stuff to head home.

It was such a nice day. Toby and I decided to take the scenic route home, we weren't quite ready to get home yet. The drive was beautiful and QUIET! The boys had fallen asleep not ten minutes after we pulled out from our "lunch spot." It gave Toby and I a chance to visit, uninterrupted, which is few and far between.

We eventually arrived at home and got ready to head out to my mom and dad's for dinner. It was a wonderful day and it was topped off with a wonderful dinner at mom's house. The day was fabulous and nice and relaxing. I am so grateful for days like these!

When their fingerprints are gone...

So, today I was home from work with my little one. We are both finally getting over this "crud." I decided one more day of rest wasn't going to hurt anyone and I got a great sub for my class. The baby and I took a nice LONG nap this morning and then we played for a little while on the floor. While I was playing with him I caught a glimpse of something I had completely forgotten about.

About 6 years ago, Kiley was learning to write her name and practiced all the time. It wasn't until one day, years later, while cleaning the house I found a spot that she had "discreetly" written her name. I, of course, burst into tears at the sight of her "baby" handwriting. This particular spot that she signed her name is underneath my coffee table in the living room. I am not sure when she wrote it or how she got away with it without my noticing earlier but she did. Today, looking at it, I am so happy that she did. I don't know that I will ever part with this piece of furniture strictly because of the signature.

On Saturday, I was home sick and during the time that I was resting, my little Braedon decided to do some "signature" work of his very own. I woke up to find the number "42" on a specific piece of furniture. He was not as discreet as his big sister though, his was in plain

view for everyone to see. While I was getting after my 5 year old for writing on furniture and telling him why he shouldn't do it, I thought about Kiley's name on my coffee table. While this did not add beauty to my "butcher block," it did add some character. Years from now will I remember how he wrote his "42" if it is not on my butcher block?

Every week, when I clean house, I am wiping away my growing children's little fingerprints. They are being wiped off the doors, walls, windows, sinks, etc. They won't be around forever for me to look at and remember the times in their lives when they were so small.

Each of them have chosen to "bless" me with one thing that will stick! Their penmanship on my furniture! While this may seem silly, I think I will let it stay. Our children are only small for such a short time and I, for one, would like to remember the times when they were so little and innocent and sweet. My children are wonderful and by far the best things that have ever happened to me.

I want my children to know that even when their little, sticky fingerprints are gone; I won't ever forget kissing the little hands that made them. I won't forget the looks of determination on their faces as they learned to write their names or their numbers and the excitement that crossed their faces when they finally got it.

I am so happy to have the three children that I do and for all the wonderful times and laughs we have shared thus far. I look forward to many more years of laughter and joy with each of you!! Thank you for enriching my life far beyond what I ever imagined.

Love,

MOM

My Hands

Sometimes you get discouraged

Because I am so small

And always leave my fingerprints

On furniture and walls.

But every day I'm growing...

I'll be grown up someday

And all those tiny handprints

Will surely fade away.

So here's a final handprint

Just so you can recall

Exactly how my fingers looked

When I was very small.

My Husband, my BEST friend.

My husband, as most of you know, is a police officer in the area and the School Resource Officer at that. He has the opportunity to do the "scary/thrilling" stuff (depends on who you ask, Him or me on which one you get) and has the chance to work with the students. He has been in the schools since January and absolutely loves it.

I think it is amazing!! Not only do I get to have lunch with him every day but Tuesday (he eats with Kiley in the cafeteria on that day) but I get to have him home in the evenings and weekends, for the most part.

Several years ago when he told me that this was the profession he wanted, I was VERY against it! It scared me and I was not looking forward to having our family work around shift work. Well, as against it as I was, I wasn't going to hold him back from something he wanted to do. Now, looking back five years later, I can't imagine him doing anything else or our family running any other way. We have made it work.

Since Toby has been in the schools, I have seen a change in him. Not a bad or good kind of change but just a change in general. I have seen him develop relationships with kids and form bonds with them. I have seen him have emotional connections with them due to a lifestyle some of these kids "have" to live! He is a positive influence in the lives of these children who might not otherwise have one. I am so proud of him!

Yesterday, was the Public Saftey Open House at the Police Department. Toby was so excited about this since he is the D.A.R.E officer now. He made fliers and put up posters. He made announcements at the school and reminded the kids about it as they were going out to the buses on Friday. He really wanted a good turnout and he wanted "his" kids to be there. Well, he succeeded. They had the biggest turnout this year, ever. It was so neat to see all the kids there to see "Officer Gilmore."

He volunteered to be the "victim" of the Police Canine, "Holly." She is not a nice dog I might

add (her owner says she is just mis

under

stood but I just think she is extremely vicious). Toby had to simulate a criminal running from the police. He did, in a lot of gear, I might add and she attacked. It was crazy to watch.

After the simulation was over, Toby began walking back to the truck to get changed out of the bite gear and there were so many kids that just swarmed him. Comments like:

"Officer Gilmore, that was so cool!"

"Were you scared?"

"She is so fast!"

Toby looked so proud that all of those kids came and were so interested in what he was doing. His comment to them was pretty funny though, "That is why you never run from the cops!" The

kids just laughed and agreed.

During his time as the S.R.O, he has bonded with one child in particular. If you ask some of his previous teachers, they will most likely tell you that he is a "problem" child and is a "pain" and "you don't want him in your class." If you ask Toby about this kid, he will tell you "He is a great kid!" and "He is a funny guy." He has been given the title of "Toby's favorite."

This child has had a pretty disadvantaged life. Mom is a drug addict and dad has been in and out of prison. I believe he is currently being raised by his grandparents who are older and tired. There isn't a day that goes by at the school that this boy doesn't come up to me and ask where "Officer Gilmore" is. He tells me how cool and funny he is. He really looks up to Toby.

Well, yesterday at the Public Safety Open House, Toby volunteered to get into the "Dunk-a-Cop" tank to raise money for the Special Olympics. It was hilarious to see all the kids line up to "dunk" their D.A.R.E. officer. Toby, of course, was talking all the smack he could and the kids were "shutting him up" quickly by dunking him. He was in the tank for nearly 2 hours total and

raised nearly $200 dollars. The largest donation they have raised in years!

During the time that he was in the tank, the student that Toby thinks so highly of showed up. Toby asked him if he was going to take a turn at trying to dunk him and his reply was, "I don't have the money to do it, I just came to see you." Toby lent the child the money to dunk him. The look on the little boys face was priceless. He was so excited that he was going to get a turn.

Of course, he got three for three and Toby was down in the water each time. Toby told him he was a cheater and so on and the student loved every minute of it. After the student was done dunking Toby he came over and asked him about the "bite" dog and they chatted a little while longer until it was time for him to go. Toby made sure to shake his hand and tell him thank you for coming. It was neat to see! It made me very proud to call this man my husband!

As I was getting ready to leave, Toby stopped me and said this was so neat. He was pumped about all the kids showing up and supporting them. He was like a little kid again.

I am one of the lucky ones, I was able to marry my best friend. He, almost 8 years later, is still my best friend. He is the person I would choose to be with over anyone else and he makes me laugh more than anyone else. He is a wonderful father to his children and wonderful husband to me. He stands by my side when I need him the most and takes a step back when I need some space. He is a shoulder to cry on and a friend to laugh with. My life would not be the same without him! I love him more than he will ever know. He is and always will be my FAVORITE!

Sick of being SICK!

I have now officially been sick for 11 days. My friend, Becky, told me last night that the flu is running 10-14 days, looks like I am one of the lucky ones that gets to do this for the whole 14 days.

It all started on Wednesday at work when I started to get a sore throat. By Thursday it was killing me. I called the doctor and told him what was going on and he prescribed

my Penicillin for strep throat. Well that is all gone and now it is in my head (like a sinus infection). Yesterday I spent the whole of my day on the coach with Vicks under my nose and Day Quill in my system. What a drag!! Especially on a beautiful day.

I decided last night to call my mom and let her know how "crappy" I felt. Mom's are always good for that kind of thing. After talking to my mom for about 3 minutes I already felt better. Here are some things I have decided about moms when you are sick, especially mine...

1) Know one else can take care of you like she can.

2) I should move in with her while I am sick and have her nurse me back to health.

3) No matter how old you are, Mom still knows best!

I am feeling much better today, but still a little under the weather. Maybe another lazy day and another good night sleep will help me get back to normal. Now I remember why I dislike this time of year, especially as a teacher. Uuuuugggggg!!!!!